Rejected :(

Mr 30 just bailed on me... via txt message too. Exact wording "Rach, I have to rain check 2nite, sorry." Now this is actually a good thing cause I'm so bloody tired. I've been up since 6.30 & standing in the sun all day dealing with people who only want to pay $2 for a pair of $120 shoes that have been worn all of 3 times. I got $5 for them :) Sorry, I digress.

I do feel a little rejected, see It's not that big a deal & I have no emotional attachment to Mr 30, I just don't like been on the receiving end of been bailed on... I just sent him a txt saying "that's cool, have a good nite". I can't be bothered suggesting a alternate meeting. I'm really busy this week, then the movers come next Wednesday so I don't really have time for a new play buddy anyway... Even though he's cute, fun & intelligent... :)

Ok, he's just redeemed him self a little, 40 minutes later he's just responded to my txt saying "I'm guessing it won't be as good". I'm feeling a little happier now.

Right, 4 txt messages later he's now coming over for a spa... All I said that I was still free Wednesday... Honestly tonight I could take it or leave it but it's nice to know that he's keen :o)

I have the power...

... well not really but I feel pretty cool at the moment. I woke up to the sound of my phone beeping to alert me that I had a message. It just happened to be Mr 30 wanting to know if I'd like to see him again :o) Ok, it's been 3 weeks so chances are he's just horney but still, it feels pretty dam good to know that you're not just forgotten after the whole one night stand thing, not that that would bother me either, but you know what I mean? We didn't exchange numbers so that also means that he had to do a bit of home work to track down my number :o)

So, he wanted to know what I was doing today but I've got the whole garage sale thing tomorrow so I said I've got tomorrow nite or Wednesday nite free. He opted for tomorrow nite :o) Don't know what we're going to end up doing, ok that came out wrong...

It's interesting, I don't know why with him I let him be in the driving seat a little more... I don't even want to suggest what we do tomorrow, unless of course I'm exhausted for the garage sale then it'll just be a spa & take away... among other things... ;)

Last night... WAS COOL!!!!!!!! I had such a good night & got to meet John, Ash & a heap of other really cool people, not to mention that Eve & Adam were there too - they rock! As hoped, I got very drunk. I had 4 disposable cups of vodka & soda, while watchihng Ferris Buellers Day Off, that they'd mixed. It was, ummm the word would be, toxic. I think Adam said the mix was 1 part vodka 1 part soda. Considering I'm a glass & a half girl under normal circumstances, I was toast. But I had such a good nite! I woke up about 10am & I was feeling fine but I'm sitting on the train now (1.15pm) & I'm feeling a bit ick...

Umm things to do today:
Pick up glasses
Buy practical underwear 4 trip
Finish organising garage
Get money for float for garage sale

Oh, Oh, Oh there's this place near mums that does Gluten free hamburgers. You really don't understand how cool this is. I'm sitting here salivating, hmmm, yum! Oh, or there's another place that does gluten free pizza, oh man, I feel like I'm a kid again & I have to choose between KFC & McDonalds, you know when your parents would only buy it for you like once a year...

Who would have known!

Now, I'm wondering if this is a boy thing or who the hell made this up cause honestly I don't have a clue when it comes to these things!

I was talking to SA, one of the boys here at work, who I'm good friends with. I just happened to have a 'thing' with one of his friends, G, back in June or July last year. It went on for about 6 weeks or so.

Anyway I was just giving SA a massage & noticed that his shirt collar needed to be washed or soaked or whatever it is you do with men's shirt collars that get that ring out & he's like it's G's. I'm like ok, tell him to wash it & he's like would you ever wash G's shirt & I'm like probably not, why would I? And he pulls out this "would you ever fold his clothes or something like that?" I'm like I don't think so & he's like so you've never folded his clothes & put them on the bed or anything? And I'm like I don't think so & even if I ever did I don't think it would have been that big a deal or something I'd commit to memory. He's like well for a guy that shows that you're serious...

Oh. My. God. Ummm, maybe I could just be a clean freak & not like clothes strewn all over the floor. I can't even remember doing it...

If truth be told I did actually fall for G though, he was the first guy I'd been with apart form my ex. We were doing the casual thing & I was fine with that, it was my call. We both agreed the last time, that it would be the last time & I was cool with that. Then the next Friday SA called up & said he'd just gotten some takeaway & that he was going to come up to my place, which was cool. Then when I open my door both him & G are there. See this fucked me up totally. I was happy to leave whatever it was with G at that last time but seeing him unexpectedly threw me for a six... Anyway I got a bit crushed there. I wasn't over my ex at that stage so it was a whole combination of things... Sorry went off on a tangent....

Note to self, don't fold boys clothes or they'll think you're serious...??!!

The gaul of some people!

I just received a call form a man who I beleive was prepared to get nasty with me over a payment to my accountant... He started the conversation with:

"This is so & so form blah, blah accounting, I left a message for you 10days ago, (said in a very annoyed tone) I don't know if you received it."

Me: "No I didn't receive it & the invoice you're chasing has been paid. Originally I was invoiced the wrong amount then I was re invoiced at the amount I was quoted. I then came into your office & paid the amount owing by credit card."

Him: "how long ago would this have been?" sounding a little less annoyed.

Me: "At least a month ago".

Him: sounding kinda appoligetic "Sometimes with credit card payments its a little harder to track. Thank-you very much for your time".

Hi my names Rachel & it's been 17 hours since I last posted...

Yes, I think I'm a addict. Or maybe it's just cause I've got so much crap going on in my head at the moment that it makes it all easier when I write it down. Plus I love watching that little counter thing at the bottom of the page go up, even though it's probably only me checking 10 times a day to see if any one's commented ;) On that note, on my trip page I had a comment form TheWriter saying he hasn't been able to comment on this page... Not good. I'll have to look into that one, I think it's the same account for both pages so I don't know if that has something to do with it...?

Last night...

The Yellow Fever shot was fine, they make you sit & wait for half a hour after you've had it though - just in case, hmmm, I just love getting vaccinations... Then I went shopping :o)

Oh, the Rabies shots, I couldn't start them anyway. There is no vaccine in the whole of Australia! It should be in next week.

I spent quite a bit last night: $120 for the shot & $65 for a pretty comprehensive first aid kit, I get to self medicate with antibiotics & stuff.... I think that's pretty dam scary in it's self. Anyway, I also got a little black pull over thing that the cute sales man guaranteed will keep me really warm & it had 40% off so was only $85. I went in & looked at my pack again & it dawned on me that I'm actually going to be living out of a back pack form the 10th of March & I want at least a couple of weeks to play with it etc so I just brought it last night, stuff the 10% tax back. It turns out that the pack cost less than the $470 that was on the tag, I only paid $380 so it's all good. All up I spent $650 so that's not to bad.

Man, in general, I'm spending so much! But the thing is once I leave I'm not planning on getting anything else (except a camp mattress for Africa form Portugal...?). I checked out my accounts on net bank yesterday & my credit card was $1.5k over my limit (I must point out my limit is really high to start with too). It's not a big deal I just hate it that they're going to charge me for going over my limit, I pay it off every month so now it actually means I have to give the credit card company money :o( It only went over cause I thought the travel agent had already charged me for something but they hadn't.

I got home about 8.30 last night & proceeded to go though more stuff for the garage sale then got started on minimising what I'm taking with me. We're now down to 5 x tops (2 short sleaved, 3 singlets), 1 x black jumper thing (that I brought last night), 1 x long sleave cotton top, 1x jeans, 1x cargos, 1x black pants, 1x white lite weight pants, 1x long shorts, 7 pairs of underwear, 4 bras, 4 pairs of socks, 2 thermal tops (1 long sleaved, 1 singlet) & 3 going out tops... Then this is the sticking point, I don't think I can possibly cut down on the shoes. Don't get me wrong I'm not a shoe addict but I can't see myself living in hiking boots the whole time I'm away... I'm wanting to take - hiking boots, lite weight sneakers, sports sandal things & heels for going out. Yes I do really need the heels, I'm so short! and I'm even thinking about taking thongs (flip-flops) for the shower. 5 pairs of shoes.... Everyone's said to leave the sneakers but I can honestly see myself living in them, plus they're cute, plus they'll squash down to nothing....

Stayed up a bit late doing all this stuff last night so I'm a bit tired... but it's Friday - YAY!!!!!!!! I really need to try & do work! My desk is starting to look a little more organised. This is the last day I'll have my office/cubical thing by myself. Eve will be down here form Monday :o) It's all so real now! Very exciting. Have I mentioned how much I hate been one of those people that cause they're leaving they slack off... I've never thought I'd ever be like this, every other job I've had I've always given my all right to the end, it's interesting the things you learn about yourself, the good & the bad...

Also I think that means as of next week posting will be to a minimum :(

Sleepy or Dopey...

At the moment I could be either sleepy or dopey form seven dwarfs... or maybe just have a split personality disorder, plus I'm kinda short, hehehe.

I'm sitting here trying to keep my eyes open. I'm really, really tired & it's hit me really bad at the moment.

Mum's just called & had a rant about my little brother who's 18 & about her boyfriend. She's pretty much sick of the men in her life. I don't mind hearing this stuff but when I'm tired, hearing someone else's problems kinda gets you down a little. I spose at least I don't have a man in my life to complicate things. The boy doesn't count cause I was just been a girl and blowing everything way out of proportion there, as per normal... plus I don't even know if I'm going to have time to see him again... actually I might have to rethink that... but then again it doesn't need to be that boy... ;o)

You know what's really funny, it makes me think I'm loosing the plot even more than I already thought I was. I went and got some lunch & went upstairs to my apartment to chill out for my break & I'm sitting there thinking about stuff, as you do, & for the life of me I couldn't remember if I was 26 or 27. Thankfully the madness lasted only minutes... Scary... Maybe my brain really is in overload...

Well gotta catch a train into the city now :( would prefer to go home & sleep.

To Do List:

 Change address for investment property rates notices - Done

 Arrange direct debit for rates - Done

 Change address for landlords insurance -Done

 Change address for managing agent notices

 Change address for financial adviser - Done

 Change address for bank account -Done

 Get a replacement credit card

 Organise a new credit card for emergencies

 Arrange for fridge to be picked up - Done

 Confirm Removalists for 10.03.04 - Done

 Email travel agent to get doco together by 12.03.04 - done 27/2

 Get tax return done for July 03 - now (tax back $$$, my dentist mentioned it the
other night - legend!)

 Cancel Gas form 12.03.04

 Cancel Power form 12.03.04

 Cancel Phone form 12.03.04

 Change mobile phone plan & ask for incoming calls to be barred form beg April

 Change address for mobile bill, arrange direct debit...?

 Get change for float for Garage sale on Sunday

 Arrange Will & power of attorney for mum

 Go through what I want to take with me & half it...

 Buy those space saver bag things

 Make appt with hair dresser - Done

 Buy pack - done 26/2

 Buy sleeping bag & sleep sheet 4.03.04

 Look in to the whole duty free tax back thing for pack & sleeping bag...

 Buy hiking shorts

 Look at buying warm parker thing - Done 26/2

 Break in hiking boots!!!!!!!!

 Buy ugly long sleave t-shirt thing that has no shape

 Buy semi permanent hair dye.

 Find a plain sarong that can double as a skirt..

 Get really thin CD case

 Get a swiss army knife

 Get travellers cheques

 Think of cool present to buy for Bosses for putting up with such a slack ass (me).

 Think of cool place to go eat & get shit faced with work guys for my last day.

 Buy presents for host family in Peru.

 Arrange address book & contacts I might need over seas, electronic organiser...?

 Make vail for hen for hens night

 Finish arrangements for kitchen tea.

 Take medical brief to travel doc 2night - done

 Pick up & pay for new glasses on Saturday

 Ask one of the boys to reformat my laptop so I can sell it.

 Pack more boxes...

 Remember to claim back doctors visits form medicare


I know there's more.... I've been adding to this list all day as things pop in to my head, and I've actually managed to tick a few things off too. The telephone is such a wonderful invention!

Manners

Ok, considering I'm so relaxed this morning I'm not going to have a sass... but... when someone replies to a email & spells your name wrong I think it's just a little bit rude. The least they can do is have a quick look at the email address that they're replying to & go oh, she spells her name like that... It's just manners.

Tonight = yellow fever shot & maybe rabies shot, but man, $300....???

That is all. Oh, by the way, did I mention I'm relaxed ;o) 2 weeks 'without' is a long time!

I like it. I like it A LOT!!!

Sex is the best way to start the day! I don't think you can beat it!!! :o)

I thought I was going to be late for work today, when I checked the time it was 8.15, leaving me only 15 min for hair, make up, to figure out what to wear & the 4 min walk to get here! I did it though & got here on time - it has to be a record! See how funny is that, I slack off when I'm here, yet I don't want to be late... Doesn't quite make sense does it! As it turns out, I could have come in a few minutes late & it wouldn't have really mattered cause neither of my bosses were here.

It wasn't weird with the boy last night & he was having a laugh cause he knows he freaked me out. He's like it's good, you're the first girl that I've been with that's said casual that's actually meant casual & we had a chat about the girl he got with a couple of weeks ago. All good! Huge sigh of relief form Rachel :o)

Oh, Oh, Oh, I also have to share. The boy (as you may or may not know) has a tongue stud. He got 3 new little attachments for it... :o)))))

Just call me Mary Poppins!

Well, as I no longer have a umbrella, I borrowed my bosses & it just happens to be one of those huge golf umbrellas! I had to hold on to it with both hands to ensure I didn't get blown away!

I got up the road to my Naturopath appt & the receptionist goes "she's not here today but I have you booked in with the doctor" & I'm like, "oh, but I booked in with Jo..." Anyway didn't get to see her & they couldn't book me another appointment...? So considering I was in Crows Nest I thought I might as well have a look at the shops :o)

Ended up buying a over the shoulder bag for $85. I didn't really want to spend that much on it but I've been looking for weeks & haven't found one, it had $15 off too. This one looks like it's going to do the job & fit my camera, cd player, phone, travel towel, bikini & what ever else I want to carry round on a daily basis, plus it's not too big. It also has a 2 year warranty so it'll at least last for the majority of my trip...

Oh & I called into my health food shop too. Said my good byes which was a little sad, I've been going there for a couple of years. I love it that they make Gluten free, wheat free, dairy free & sugar free carrot cake & lots of other goodies that doesn't taste like crap. The boys mum has some similar allergies to me & I got her a piece of carrot cake too. Not sure if it crosses the line... but I know how much it sucks not to be able to get food that actually tastes nice or for that matter tastes at all...

"Mushrooms, the great all rounder..." yep, it's still in my head...

"Mushrooms...

... the great all rounder".

Ever wake up to a song or something playing on your alarm then have it stuck in your head? Well, I've got a ad jungle stuck in my head :o) I got out of the shower this morning & was doing shoop, shoop to the mushroom ad!! My god, I really have lost the plot!

It's raining again today, so much for Australias perfect weather... I also just happened to leave my umbrella in the supermarket last night but it was broken so I spose it's no big deal. Trust me to get rid of 2 perfectly good umbrellas (garage sale) & keep the dodgy one.

The travel thing last night was ok... People weren't all that friendly though, I spose that's what I kinda expect form Sydney though.... I know, I know, gross generalisation, not all Sydney people are unfriendly.

I'm trying to decide if I should do Eurail or Bus About around Spain & France, I just don't know! The more I think about my trip the more I should have thought out my flights... To late now though. Instead of flying to Madrid I should have gone to Nice or Paris then done the loop of Spain & France. Now to see what I want to see I've got to back track a little - Oh well such is life, I'll be in Europe so who gives a shit :o)

The boy... I kinda didn't end it... I think he's going to come over tonight... I got a bit drunk Saturday night & txt him, we had a bit of a txt conversation & I asked him if he was still ok with it been a causal thing & he said he was. It's been better this week, I haven't heard form him everyday which takes some of the pressure off which is really good. Cause god knows I've got a million other things happening.

I've got a naturopath appointment at lunch. I'm hoping she'll tell me I'm cured of all my food allergies. I can dream but considering that since I split with my ex my list of allergies has shrunk form something like 30 to 5 it's a bit of a difference so fingers crossed there'll be like none or only one left! :o)

Today I've written myself a 'to do list' so heres hoping I have a really productive day. I so don't want to leave a mess here for Eve, as unmotivated as I am I don't want to have her cursing me. Only 3 more days until she's down here with me - exciting!!! Honey, I'm so going to miss you when I go!

One hundred and ten US dollars.

I'm such a moron! I need $50us dollars to send away with the application for the Tanzania visa so I went to the bank to do this & my conversation with the bank teller (BT) went something like this:

Me: "Hi, do you do foreign exchange here? I need $50 US dollars."

BT: "well it's going to cost you $7 to get the money changed so you can change up to $600 for the same fee"

Me: "Ok, I might as well, how much can I get?" (considering I need $1000's I didn't think they'd keep that much at a local branch.)

BT: "Oh, we only have $110US dollars here"

Me: "Ok, I might as well get it all then..."

BT: Does his thing & brings out the money which happens to be 1 x $100 dollar note & 2 x $5 dollar notes.

Me: "Oh, Don't you have any other denominations?

BT: "No this is all we have"

Me: "Can I cancel the transaction as I this is useless to me at the moment? I need the exact money to send away for a visa application."

BT: "No the transaction has already gone through."

Fantastic!! What a bloody waste of time & not to mention my $7. Plus I'm going to have to go to another exchange place & have them charge me another fee to get what I actually need.

I can probably do it tonight before I go to the seminar thing, as I'll be in the city anyway, then get it to the travel agent first thing tomorrow morning so it still makes the courier....

Oh & the exchange rate has dropped 3 cents :o(

Happy Girl - 4 now anyway ;o)

I ended up getting 2 fillings at the dentist last night. It's always fun when you walk out of the dentists & and one side of your face is completely numb & feels the size of a football not to mention that you have no control over one side of your mouth so look like a complete spastic :o) Or is that just me...

I stopped in & got some chicken soup for dinner form coles & managed to burn my tongue after I heated it up. I think the thing that freaked me out the most though was when I decided to snack on some yoghurt. I put it in my mouth & on one side of my tongue it felt warm, but on the other side of my tongue it felt cold, freaky!

I've snapped out of my little freak out mood, for now anyway :) I'm actually feeling a lot less pressured. As soon as I got into work my phone started ringing & it was my mum. She was like "I've stuffed up completely, I put the wrong day on the ads I placed for the Garage Sale, I'm so sorry etc, etc, etc".

Anyway she put it for the Sunday instead of the Saturday. Which in all honestly is GREAT! It means I can go out Friday for Adam's b'day as planned, sleep in Saturday go out to mums place (which is 40min away) on Saturday afternoon, organise stuff, stay over Saturday night & wake up early & refreshed for the garage sale on Sunday.

It didn't even occur to me that people hold garage sales Sunday, but mum assures me it's done. My mums so cute, she's like "I couldn't sleep last night cause I was worrying about it, I'm so sorry". I didn't realised that I was a bit stressed about the garage sale. Interesting huh.

Tonight I've got this travel seminar that the YHA is putting on. Hopefully I'll get some useful tips out of it. If not actually meet some people that have been where I'm going to go will be great!

Oh & last but not least. I got a email form one of the girls that was on the tour I did of the East cost of Australia. She lives in Buenos Aries, she's awesome & we got on so well, anyway she's like "Please stay with me, my house is really big and we have an extra room were you can stay." It made my day to hear form her, I honestly can't wait to see her!
I got a txt form another one of the guys in my tour that lives in the UK the other day too & he's like "Can't wait till u get 2 t uk. Better make sure u make contact!". Then another friend in Germany & another one in Austria & quite a few more in the UK. I have offers for Christmas already too :o)

See, this is what I need to remember when I start to freak out! Also one of the guys here at work has a cousin in Rio & he's like "I'll get him to show you around, he'd love to!". So basically I've got most bases covered.

Good Karma

It's funny. I just posted on Adams page & was saying how I hate those emails where you have to pass them on or you get bad luck... Well I just got one... HA!

The contents pretty good & it doesn't really make threats it just says you're life will improve so it's not thaaat bad... ;)

GOOD KARMA

This is a nice reading, but short. Enjoy! This is what The Dalai Lama has to say for 2004. All it takes is a few seconds to read and think over. Do not keep this message. The mantra leave our hands within 96 hours. You will get a very pleasant surprise. This is true for all even if you are not superstitious or of whatever religious belief Faith

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk..

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson..

3. Follow the three R's:
Respect for self,
Respect for other's and
Responsibility for all your actions

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.


FORWARD THIS MANTRA E-MAIL TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE AND YOUR LIFE WILL IMPROVE blah, blah, blah! :o)

What's with the eyes?!

OK, I've never been much of a cryer & it usually takes a lot to get me going BUT now if I'm watching a movie or reading a book & something's a tiny bit sad, or happy for that matter, the eyes start to get a little dewy. What the hell's with that. I can honestly say I don't understand it. I much prefer been the cold heartless cow I've always been.... go figure. I didn't even cry at my own wedding for god's sake & now I watch a movie.... maybe I've just got eye problems!

I had a great weekend. Busy but good, I love catching up with great company.

I'm doing my freak out act again tho... so much to do, so little time. Oh, plus the thought of getting raped & murdered whilst over seas has slipped in to my thinking somehow... Everyone is so full of good intentions, even people I don't know, telling me every single horrible story they've ever heard about people travelling. I'm not stupid for gods sake I do realise some of the places I'm going to aren't particularly safe but then I'm going to try my dam best not to get my liver or kidneys cut out aren't I. One of mums friends told her to tell me to dye my hair brown... what if I like my hair blond? I spose there's wanted & unwanted attention, huh? I'm going to take some of those semi permanent dye sachet things with me so I'll see how it goes.

In between cleaning out mums garage yesterday in preparations for the garage sale next weekend, mum took me to drop off the kitchen tea invites I'd made for my friend. On the way we were talking & she's like I'm really, really going to miss you blah, blah, blah & then she starts to cry a little. Talk about tugging at the heart strings. Am I abandoning everyone.... am I doing the right thing here... I'm feeling a little bit lost & overwhelmed at the moment... I've always wanted to travel, but it all just seems hard & scary at the moment.

I walked out of my apartment this morning & while I was waiting for the lift I looked in the mirror & was like, this is one of my favourite outfits - black pants, white shirt, cool vest thingy & tan pointy boots, but do you think I can take any of these clothes with me on my trip? That would be NO. It's not really that big a problem but lots of things are really starting to sink in. I've been trying to prepare myself all the way along but the things I've been telling myself are finally real. I was sitting in my apartment last night looking around. Um yep, in 2 & a half weeks I'm not going to have anything left there, it'll all be in storage. My god, am I really going to be able to live out of a back pack? Leaving my family... leaving my friends... leaving my wardrobe ;) Did I mention that when I cleaned out my clothes I had 3 garbage bags, another huge bag & one huge box of shoes... you can still open my wardrobe & it looks decent too - scary!

For the first time I'm really wondering if I'm actually going to be able to do this... I've done no work this morning. I'm to in my head... does that make sense? It's not that I don't want to do work it's just that I can't switch off all the other stuff... I feel like crying. GOD I HATE BEEN ALL EMOTIONAL!!! I sound like such a whimp & one of those needy, cryie girls that you just want to slap round the head & tell to get over it & move on... Maybe it's just cause it's that time of the month. That can usually be blamed for any type of mood or attitude... good excuse me thinks! ;o)

Warning: Really, really, really long boring post…

Char left about 30 minutes ago it was great to catch up. She brought a book over with her, The Worlds Most Dangerous Places. She’s not trying to freak me out, it’s one of those if forewarned is forearmed things… Anyway I’ve just been reading some of the key things in the book; dangerous places for tourists; know thine enemy; & how to beat the odds; & I’ve lapsed in to the “what in the hell do I think I’m doing mode!”

Man, I’m blond, have green eyes, florescent white skin & are of all of 4ft 11”, 49kg’s. Yeah, I’m not going to stick out in South America, Africa or the Middle East… Whatever! Shit, I really hope I’m not kidding myself here. I realised this before & I’m pretty sure I can do it, adopt the whole don’t fuck with me attitude, but right now I’m kinda wishing I didn’t have quite so much time to think about it…

Maybe I should really, really, really look into doing some kind of self-defence course…

I’m sitting here wishing I had someone to share how I’m feeling with. As much as I don’t want a partner/boyfriend or the complications that go with it, it’d be nice to have someone to off load to. That you don’t feel like you have to justify your feelings too. That you can just say this is what you’re feeling right now. That it’s going to change in 5 minutes, hell, probably in 5 second but someone to just to accept it. That all that’s needed is support & maybe a big hug.

Maybe that’s why I’ve gotten so addicted to writing in my blog…

I was going to go and meet up with Eve & Adam for drinks but there’re not in the city & I’m not really in the mood at the moment. Even though it’s probably what I need…

I just grabbed my conventional diary & the last time I wrote in it was on the 1.01.2004 at 11.59pm. Some of my new years resolution were/are:
1. To be happy!!!!!!
2. To travel
3. To not let people or things get to me
4. To have fun!!!!
5. No stress
6. Stay single
7. Don’t miss opportunities

I’ve just been reading through my diary (for the last hour…). It’s interesting some of the things you read. I started it in March last year, a week after my ex & I split. It’s funny how when you read your entries you can feel the emotions… These are some things that stuck out for me that show me how far I’ve actually come in the last year:

10 March 03
“Well, it’s been ages since I’ve written in a diary, it’s only when things go bad & there’s to much to cope with that it helps to write it all down.”

“Last Sunday we decided to take a break form each other – well, I should say I suggested it & he was happy to go along with it”

“I don’t really like the person I’ve turned into, I feel like I’m in my 40’s & that I’m this huge nag.”

“He said that he loves me but that he’s not in love with me, I can relate to that. I really miss him at the moment but at the same time it’s just easier to look after me.”


17 March 03
“I asked him what he wanted to do. He replied separate. I asked if 6 years doesn’t count… I asked him what I’d done & why he wouldn’t try & he said ‘how can I try at something I’ve already given up on’…”
*It still makes me angry. I don’t what to be with him, at all, but how can someone give up on a marriage so easily… you’re married for goodness sake, it’s not just a boyfriend / girlfriend thing... I still have issues with it.

“…I got up & made for the front door & asked if I could give him a hug. I did & pulled away then he pulled me back & hugged me again, then I kissed him & told him I loved him. I do love him but he’s made his choice, I broke down when he left, I practically crumbled.”

“In some ways I’m relieved that it’s over, it’s easier but it still really hurts.”

13 May 03
“I can say we won’t be getting back together”

“I’ve moved into a studio apartment across the road form work. I’m loving it! I was thinking in the spa tonight that everything seems surreal & I feel numb.”

Mid April “he said that he’s moved on with his life & that grille is now in it. I suppose I really don’t know how to feel”

30 June 03
“Who am I? I’ve realised that under all of my insecurities that I’m a pretty confidant person, I’m a great friend & conversationalist, I’m bubbly & friendly & full of life!”

“I think that I’ve forgiven him. It’s not up to me to stand in judgement of what’s happened between us and it’s not doing me any good to hold on to those feelings, I think that I’ve also forgiven myself.”

“You’re friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime”

4 August 03
“I really think that when you have love in your life, regardless if it’s family or a relationship, you do take it for granted. I think that I did. But now I find myself wondering if it was ever real anyway. I don’t think that I even knew the man that I was married to. That in it’s self is pretty devastating, I spose I just have to keep reminding myself that it was real & that things happen for a reason. ”

6 August 03
“I don’t want him, but it’s just not fair that he’s got someone and I don’t… I don’t want anything serious. I just want a boy who wants to make me laugh & smile; I don’t want to have to put myself on the line. It knocked my self esteem that he could move on so quickly.”

12 October 03
“It’s my birthday & I’ve had such a great night, I feel like my chest’s going to explode cause I’m so happy. I think this has been the best birthday ever! I have friends, I actually have friends!! 25 people all came out to celebrate my birthday :o) ! I’m so happy & just a tiny bit drunk. I think sleeps called for”

There’s heaps & heaps more but these things sticked out a little for some reason. It’s so cool I just realised that I didn’t mention my ex in my diary since the unit sold in October. How cool is that!

I’m thinking about him more now cause I have the divorce papers sitting there looking at me… I can’t sign them for just over another week. It’s a bit exciting. A bit sad too….

Why do I bite...?

You'd think by the age of 27 I would be able to let things slide over my head.

Growing up with a older brother (& younger one too) you'd think I'd be used to boys egging me on & teasing me just to get a reaction. Not to mention dealing with my Uncle & Grandad who were up there with the best of them. Yet, time after time, I bite!!! Maybe cause I know it's all in fun...?

One of the boys, who we'll call 'smart ass' (SA), was doing it just now - I know when he's doing it but I still get drawn in every time! It was really funny though cause I started the conversation that I knew what he was doing, it went something like this:

Me: "I know you're just been a smart ass"

SA: "I'm using you just like you're using 'the boy'. For my own personal enjoyment"

Me: "yeah, but 'the boy' gets more enjoyment out of me using him, than I get out of u using me"

SA: "Oh, & has the boy told you this?"

Me: "No, he doesn't need to"

SA: huge smirk on his face.....

Me: standing there with my water bottle freshly filled, I couldn't resist, I had to squirt him.

To which he didn't respond very well too, more disbelief than anything... I then proceeded to run in to my bosses office & hide behind my boss :o) hehehe, god I love been a girl sometimes! SA managed to get the water bottle off me then my wonderful boss stuck up for me & said "No" hehehe... I think I'll just stay in my cubical all afternoon.... :o)

Note: I don't think that I'm using 'the boy', hence where the whole "bite" came form, if 2 people have a understanding & the cards have been laid out on table how can you be using someone? Using, I don't like that word!!!

Oh & my massage at lunch time was wonderful! You'd think I'd learn to wear shoes that aren't slip on's though...

Today's a great day!!

 I've got a massage at lunch time!!!! YAY!!!! So, looking forward to it!!!!

 I had a fantastic sleep last night (finally remembered to take my puffer before going to sleep)

 I'm catching up with Char tonight (best friend), plus if we finish early I might try to catch up with Eve & Adam for drinks too - fingers crossed!

 & last but not least I've actually done quite a bit of work this morning. Miracles will never cease! It makes me feel a little less guilty for been such a slack ass, not a lot though, I don't get how I can feel bad but can't just get my head around work stuff...

 Oh, Oh, Oh almost forgott - IT'S FRIDAY TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o)

Sydney's great!

I went shopping in the city last night. Walking through Pitt Street Mall it reminded me that the city has a pretty cool vibe. I'd thought that I was really over Sydney... Maybe it's just the day to day stuff that gets me....

I actually didn't spend a lot of money which surprised me. Well, I did have a $200 voucher for Grace Brothers, sorry - name change, 'Myers'. But that doesn't count cause they were for free. Gotta love credit card reward points! Especially when I don't pay interest cause the card gets paid off every month, hehehe, suckers!. Anyway, I ended up getting a portable CD player & some CD's.

I was gonna buy my pack but will hold off until a month before I leave... It's only 2 weeks away. That way I can get the tax back. I wasn't going to worry about it but considering I looked at what I spent last month, just over $10k, & I've got another $3k to spend in the next few weeks, every little bit counts. It's all towards my trip btw. Flight ticket, Insurance, Spanish school (4weeks), African tour (5weeks) & Middle East tour (5weeks). So basically it takes care of living costs & travel for about 14 weeks out of 24 too which isn't too bad.... Then I'll be in the UK.

Oh, got a txt form the boy last night, it read: "Everything's goin 2be fine, I still haven't slept and i'm goin 2 now, i'm sorry." I didn't respond... I'm just going to leave it...

Overreacting again...

Back on the 5th of Feb I wrote a entry "I've snapped out of my funky mood". In there I talk about my nipple hurting like hell. I didn't go into to much detail but I just got the following email.... Kinda a little freaky & hits a bit to close to home considering that the 2 of the 3 symptoms described fit with what I experienced.... It all seems to have healed up now so it's all good :o)

"New kind of Breast Cancer DO NOT DELETE
Please forward to all of the women in your lives. Mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, friends, etc.
In November, a rare kind of breast cancer was found. A lady developed a rash on her breast, similar to that of young mothers who are nursing.
Because her mammogram had been clear, the doctor treated her with antibiotics for infections. After 2 rounds and it continued to get worse, her doctor sent her for another mammogram, and this time it showed a mass.
A biopsy found a fast growing malignancy. Chemo was started in order to shrink the growth; then mastectomy; then a full round of Chemo; then radiation. After about 9 months of intense treatment, she was given a clean bill of health.
One year of living each day to its fullest. Then the cancer returned to the liver area. She took 4 treatments and decided that she wanted quality of life, not the after effects of Chemo. She had 5 great months and she planned each detail of the final days. After just a few days of needing morphine, she slipped away saying she had done what God had sent her into the world to do and now it was her time to go.
PLEASE be alert to any thing that is not normal, and be persistent in getting help as soon as possible.

Her message is shown below:
Paget's Disease: This is a rare form of breast cancer, and is on the outside of the breast, on the nipple and aureola. It appeared as a rash, which later became a lesion with a crusty outer edge. I would not have ever suspected it to be breast cancer but it was. My nipple never seemed any different to me, but the rash bothered me, so I went to the doctor for that. Sometimes, it itched and was sore, but other than that it didn't bother me.
It was just ugly and a nuisance, and could not be cleared up with all the creams prescribed by my doctor and dermatologist for the dermatitis on my eyes just prior to this outbreak. They seemed a little concerned but did not warn me it could be cancerous. Now, I suspect there a re not many women out there who know a lesion or rash on the nipple or aureola can be breast cancer.
Mine started out as a single red pimple on the aureola. One of the biggest problems with Paget's disease of the nipple is that the symptoms appear to be harmless. It is frequently thought to be a skin inflammation or infection, leading to unfortunate delays in detection and care.

What are the symptoms? The symptoms include:

1. A persistent redness, oozing, and crusting of your nipple causing it to itch and burn. (As I stated, mine did not itch or burn much, and had no oozing I was aware of, but it did have a crust along the outer edge on one side.)
2. A sore on your nipple that will not heal. (Mine was on the aureola area with a whitish thick looking area in center of nipple)
3. Usually only one nipple is affected.

How is it diagnosed? Your doctor will do a physical exam and should suggest having a mammogram of both breasts, done immediately. Even though the redness, oozing and crusting closely resemble dermatitis (inflammation of the skin), your doctor should suspect cancer if the sore is only on one breast. Your doctor should order a biopsy of your sore to confirm what is going on.
This message should be taken seriously and passed on to as many of your relatives and friends as possible; it could save someone's life.
My breast cancer has spread and metastasized to my bones after receiving mega doses of chemotherapy, 28 treatments of radiation and taking Tamaxofin.. If this had been diagnosed as breast cancer in the beginning, perhaps it would not have spread...
TO ALL READERS: This is sad as women are not aware of Paget's disease.
If, by passing this around on the e-mail, we can make others aware of it, and its potential danger, we are helping women everywhere.
Please, if you can, take a moment to forward this message to as many people as possible, especially to your family and friends. It only takes a moment, yet the results could save a life!"

P.S sorry if the swearing in the last 2 posts offended anyone!

The saga continues...

I ended up txting the boy back saying that "I hope everything works out ok... Sorry I'm not much help... I'm off 2 bed now." He messaged back saying "That's cool, I'll call u 2morrow... ;)"

Ok, all good... well kinda... It's all to much for me, I don't want a boyfriend! I've got enough other crap spinning around in my head to have to deal with someone else's problems as well. That sounds pretty heartless but god dam it I spent 6 years of putting someone else's problems first & I'll be dammed if I'll do it again.

I woke up this morning & had a message on my phone... "I need 2 feel I'm alive..." see, that's just to much!!!! It's not up to me for fucks sake to make someone feel alive & honestly that shit freaks me out...

When / if he calls tonight I'm going to tell him it's all to much for me & I've got so much other stuff happening at the moment that I need to pull back... Honestly I don't know what to say & have thought about doing the whole txt thing but that's just the cowards way out....

I really don't need this complication! We had the talk that it was just a casual thing for goodness sake! How do you do the break up talk if it's only a casual thing...???
Maybe I'm just over reacting to it all....

SHIT!

I just had the weirdest fucken txt from the boy.

The txt read “I need some 1 2 talk 2, I’m about 2 do something stupid, r u awake?”

That shit kinda freaks me out so I txt him back asking what was up, then he didn’t call back so I called him. Not really the situation I want to be creating but if someone’s in trouble then I do the whole rescue thing…

Anyway, not sure how to write this… With out going in to detail, one of the boys so called friends gave his name to someone that the so called friend owes money to & now this person is demanding that the boy pay his friends debt – even though it has nothing to do with the boy, make sense? Anyway his so-called friend not only gave him the boys name but also his family’s address & threats have been made. What the fuck am I supposed to say about it??????? He’s asking me for advice & it’s not like I can say anything. He goes what would you do? Me: ummm call the cops. Unfortunately not an option here. Shit, I don’t want to have to deal with stuff like this! We’re actually talking about peoples lives here… I don’t know how full of shit the boy is but I’m pretty sure it’s serious stuff. We’re not just talking a couple of hundred of dollars here either.

He just txt me, he’s kinda freaking me out… his txt “I’m just gonna wait until they strike… I want u…x”. Fuck!!!!!!!!! I’m sitting here freaking out. I didn’t sign up for this shit! I don’t think I should txt him back… but he’s scared for his family… shit, do I be a friend & tell him to come over or be a bitch & just cut him off? I so don’t need this shit! Fuck!

I'm hyper!

...or is it hypo - I always get them mixed up!

Anyway, I'm full of energy. Don't know why, no rhyme or reason but I feel like jumping around like a Mexican jumping bean. I just did a cartwheel in the office, hehehe, no one saw though :o)

Spent about a hour at the travel agents at lunch, that's always fun... ('slight' use of sarcasm) Poor thing, she's always so busy so I pretty much end up sitting there waiting most of the time. My visa came back for the UK now I've got to get one for Brazil & a couple of the African countries I go to. All of the others I can get on arrival. It's all coming together!!!

HOW BLOODY EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh & once again I don't feel like doing any work, how unusual! I'm going to have to get my bosses some cool presents when I leave just to thank them for putting up with me at the moment... Asked them to fire me again today - same response - NO! :(

Oh, Oh, Oh I also looked up to see if I had any annual leave left & I've got like 30hours - god only knows how after I took 7 weeks off over November to Jan... Anyway I put it to my bosses that I actually use up my annual leave. Their response - NO. They're bloody well determined to keep me here. I've told them over & over again that I might be here in body but seriously, that the brain has stopped functioning! I really believe that I no longer have any control over my work ethic. I've tried & tried & tried to get my ass in to gear but I just can't do it. I feel bad but this still has no affect. Basically I've given up!

Just booked my ticket to Melbourne

YAY!!!!

That's all :o)

Chicken Soup

How good is chicken soup & snuggling up in your doona!! I was so cold yesterday I had goose bumps on my arms. On the bright side though it's been months since I've been able to pull the doona up & snuggle in, it only lasted about a hour then my body started to feel normal again & I had to kick off the doona cause it was so hot.

On yeah, I cancelled my massage & went home at lunch time. I ended up sleeping for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon & felt so much better when I woke up. I think the chicken soup had something to do with it :)

My friend Jens form Germany called last night. He's so cool, I met him in the Northern Territory. He comes back to Australia in 2 weeks so I'm going to go down to Melbourne to see him & meet his girlfriend, plus I want to do the party thing in Melbourne. The clubs are supposed to go off!

Mal lives about 3 hours form Melbourne so I'm gonna go visit him too. I'll book my ticket today for around the 17th of March & stay for 4 or 5 days. It's a bit exciting!

Last night I was in bed by 10.30 but I just couldn't get to sleep. The last time I looked at the clock it was 11.45. I was thinking way to much about stuff.
For instance:

 My bank account & wondering how much they'll charge me for over sea's withdrawals then wondering if in South America if the ATM's are all networked up to Oz.

 Then wondering how much I should get changed in to travellers cheques.


 Credit cards & that I should probably apply for a new one so I've got 2.

 That I have to photocopy, my passport & visa... who I need to give copies to.

 Then thinking about what CDs I should buy for the trip. Which made me go back to the whole MP3 or palm pilot argument to which I then settled back on a CD player.

 Then to thinking about the bra's & underwear that I'm taking with me.

 Then to thinking about compression bags & sleeping bags & clothes & things I'm taking with me.

 Then about breaking in my hiking boots (which are heaps more comfortable btw)

 Then to thinking about buying my pack.

 Then about having to pick up my new shoes form the shoe repairs cause I got them stretched a little.

 Then to thinking about my friends wedding.

 Then to thinking about having to go to the library & having to do a bit more research into where I'm actually going.

 Then about the garage sale I'm going to have in a few weeks.

 Then about my yellow fever shot which I 'm getting at the travellers medical centre & that they sell first aid kit's & water purification tablets which I need to buy & that maybe they'll let me know if I should actually spend the extra $300 & get the rabies shots....

 Then trying to figure out the sequence of events for the weekend of 5 March till 7 March. Last day of work - 5 March, big night, Friends hens night - 6 March, Mal's also taking about coming up that weekend with the boy I 'got with' (that sounds so 15year oldish) form Surfers. Then wondering if Surfers boy will expect something to happen, cause not sure where I stand on that... Oh & it's also 'the boy's' birthday & he's like "you have to come, it's going to be a 2 day/night thing, I'll even pay for you..."

Plus about a million more things....

Paranoia...

I'm feeling a bit gross & sick, nauseated & headachy. See this is where I wonder if it's just paranoia cause I had the shots yesterday or if it's really real. Does that make sense? I'm such a loon.

The first time I ever got really, really stoned (which was Australia day long weekend - this year...) I did this whole analyst thing of "am I really feeling like this because this is what it feels like or is it just because it's what I expect so I'm telling myself I feel like this..." See complete utter LOON!!!! Then everything was just uncontrollably funny & I just went with it :o)

I do that when I'm feel sick too (analyse it). I'd hate to be one of those hypochondriac type of people. I very rarely told my ex when I felt sick, he had such huge issues with my food allergies, let alone me been sick. Plus my mum has a lot of health problems & he hated hearing about them & he always thought she was over reacting...

Trying to figure out what I should do to celebrate my 1 year separation anniversary on the 2nd of March. I'd love to get a tat or something but that's kinda permanent & what if I change my mind in a couple of years. I've got to do something though... Any ideas?

Just sitting here... I really do feel sick. Not like I'm going to throw up but my stomach's not really that happy. Contemplating cancelling my massage & just going home...

Tired... Again...

Had my Typhoid & Meningitis shots done yesterday afternoon. My left arm feels like it's about to drop off (Typhoid shot).

I was so proud of myself last night, I was in bed by 9.45pm. Yet this morning I'm still tired... Every time I went to roll over on to my left hand side (which was quite often) I woke up cause it hurt like hell.

I had more dreams too, but don't remember them... To much going on in my head I think.

Talked to heaps of people on the phone last night. The boy called, think he wanted to come over but I told him I was having a early night. He asked what I was up to for the rest of the week, which in all honestly will be a host of early nights. I've got to shake this feeling tired thing. I don't like it!

Talked to my best friend too. I love it that we've been friends for so long - 11 or 12 years. Our friendship is so easy, it doesn't take any effort & if we go a few weeks with out talking we just pick up where we left off, no big deal. I love it that she moved over here and I love it that she doesn't judge me, from our upbringing it would be a very easy thing to do. Believe me. It was her 1 year wedding anniversary on Sunday. She married my wedding photographer, I love that story, they met at my wedding. If only one good thing came out of my marriage it was them :o)

My friend Mal called too. He was planning on subdividing his property & building a rental property but the figures work out to a bit more than expected so he's thinking about coming to South America with me. It'd be really cool if he ended up coming, we get on really well. It wouldn't be quite so scary too. He's thinking about taking tours over there. The company he worked for in Africa also has a business in South America which he wouldn't mind working for.
I'm not holding my breath though. It's his 30th next month & he's feeling the pressure form family of having to start been a responsible adult & settle down... he's been travelling / working since 1998. My advice to him was, you're the only one who knows what you want & you're only as old as you feel.

Even though I'm tired I'm in a pretty good mood. I'm looking forward to my massage at lunch time & having another early night though :o)

Things that I've been thinking about.

 A lot's happened in the last year...

 On the bus yesterday morning I was watching a little girl who would have been about 3 or 4 & it reminded me that my ex & I were planning on starting a family this year. I'm not getting any younger... Even though I act like I'm 12, I'm going to be 28 this year...
Kids have never really been way up there on my list of things to do but none the less they're still on the list. It's the first time it's hit me in the forehead that there's only so many years left of relatively 'easy' conception. How am I supposed to travel, find a partner that I might actually be able to trust with bearing half the responsibility of looking after a child and most importantly - be ready for it... I'm not really having a major freak out. Things happen when they're supposed to, I know that & are a big believer in it but sometimes these things slap you across the face like a cold fish...

 I'm so lucky that I've got 3 really good friends that I can call when I need them. I wouldn't have made it through the last year with out them. I'm really, really going to miss them.

 In 2 weeks my ex & I would have been separated a year...

 Think I'm a little scared that I'm going to blow the whole travel thing. Can't explain it & don't quite know how you could blow it but there's something there...

 I'm really tired.

 Work's getting me down. Well not work, the fact that I can honestly say that I haven't done a great deal today & I really don't care enough to start getting in to it. Honestly, there are things to do.

 This is how lazy I am. There were some papers here that needed to go to reception. Instead of me making the 5 minute walk up the road, I faxed them up! See, if I was super busy maybe I could justify it but ummm, no. It's called sheer laziness! It's just a bit funny though ;o)

 I really am a true blond. The wonderful Eve & I went shopping on Saturday & we were discussing 'The Boy' & 'Mr 30' & she got there names mixed up & said it must be cause of the 'A' in their names. Me been me, I'm like "there's no 'A' in the boys name". Umm, yep there is & it's a pretty basic run of the mill name too. Yep, truly blond!

 I've got to get another shot this afternoon.

 I haven't called up & booked my Yellow fever shot yet... Really need to do that!

 I've booked in for a massage at lunch tomorrow. My shoulder's starting to kill again. I though it was all good. It hasn't hurt in a couple of months. I hope that karma gets the man that assaulted me. A year later & there's still problems...

Trip stuff

I've created another page that I'm going to use for all my trip updates that I'll give to all my family & friends. Decided that I don't really want everyone I know reading the stuff I write here. Not that there's really that much to it but I don't think my Dad would appreciate some of it, hehehe :)

New link www.2004worldtrip.blogspot.com

I went through & posted all the emails of my Oz Trip there.

I'll figure out how to add the link to the right had column thing... on that note, I'd love to be able to play with the appearance of this page but such is life, I spose it's easy to use & more importantly it's free :o) But hey, I'm a girl. I like pretty things...

Care Factor Zero...

Firstly, I'm sick of the heat!!!!

I was out west yesterday & I swear I just about melted! Then last night I thought to myself, "I'm going to sleep really well tonight cause I'm so tired blah. blah, blah". But NO. I woke up at 2am cause I was so dam hot & proceeded to go & soak myself down with cold water in the hope that I'd be able to get back to sleep... I had some funky dreams too, something about south america but can't remember what.

End conclusion:
I'm tired this morning cause I tossed & turned all night & can't be bothered with anything :o( Do we spot a reoccurring theme...

Weekend:
Rather uneventful but really, really enjoyable. Brought heaps of stuff for my trip & it was so cool catching up / spending time with friends & family.

Oh & I went to the park last night (my mum had to pick up her boyfriend before dropping me off & we had some time to waste). I played on the swings, I went so god dam high! Then I just about killed myself on this little spinning platform thing that I couldn't figure out to start with, then I figured it out all to well. It was hilarious! I haven't laughed so hard in ages!!! It spun round so fast & it was so hard to hold on, there was a moment of utter panic! Thank god for mum!

Valentines day:
Was supposed to go for a girls night out with some really cool chicks, I feel a little like their charity case, but couldn't be bothered so sat at home & watched DVD's. It was great, I'm glad I enjoy my own company!

Update on the Boy:
He txt me on Friday... I'm such a bitch... I didn't txt back... Might send him a txt him now saying I hope he had a nice weekend....

Only 1 hour to go!!!!!

At the moment my favourite day & time of the week is Friday at 5pm. It's the longest amount of time before I have to be back at work. How great is my work ethic!

I've just sat through a training course on a new application / interface thing. It's funny, I told my mum I was in training & she's like ummm, why? Even though I'm only here for another 3 weeks my reasoning is this - it's good to see the new interface, plus I get to slack off for 2 hours & refresh my knowledge of the switch... hehehe, well, I really already knew the stuff but it's still good to confirm what you know. Right?

This weekend. Shopping!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Factory outlets!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Oh, Oh I just realised it's my one year anniversary of been assaulted. Wow time flies!

Happy Valentines Day!! (4 2morrow)

Hehehe...

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme
with the most romantic first line but the least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Yuck!

I've just noticed I've got a love bite on my neck! I hate them!!! If I keep my hair pulled over my left shoulder no one will notice. If the boys, not to mention either of my bosses, see it I'm dead! They'll never let me live it down! ;o)

On that note. On more than one occasion when I've come in form lunch one of the boys has asked me if I've just had a shag... what's with that!

I'm a big wimp...

...but we already knew that. The boy came over about 8.30 last night... I said no to the weekend away & we kinda didn't do much more talking after that... then this morning I continued to sleep & he left about 6.30 cause he had to go to work...

On to more exciting things.

I went shopping last night & brought some kick ass shoes! They were a bargain too (Rachel love's her bargains cause she's a fucken cheap skate). They were less than half price cause they're only a size 5 & no one else could fit them - YAY ME!

They're these cute white little sketchers. Just a casual slip on that doesn't have laces & they're really light weight so it won't weigh down my pack to much.

Oh & I also got some hiking socks but think I have to shell out $50 for the really good one's. $50 for a pair of socks just doesn't seem right.

Starting to worry a bit that I'm going to be taking to much crap with me, is 5 pairs of shoes to much... Hiking boots, casual shoe, sport sandal thing, heels to go out & a pair of thongs... hmmm...

Could it get any more complicated!

Ok... Got a call form the boy last night. He wants to take me away for the weekend! Talk about freaking me out!!!! I said I don't know... but I'm pretty sure the answer is no.

Oh my god, a weekend away is like a huge thing, isn't it? Or am I just been a drama queen? Plus it's valentine's day on Saturday...

He was going to come over last night after he'd been out so called me back later on & we had a bit of a conversation & I'm like a weekend away's a huge thing, big commitment, you're freaking me out, it's not fair to you, I'm worried cause I don't want either of us to get attached etc etc. He's like "I just want to get away form everything & relax, I relax when I'm with you & I can just be myself". Oh my god!!!! He's like "I'm not getting attached"... hmmm, u think?! In the conversation we had earlier he's like "it's like you're a oasis for me (his words) where I can just be myself, away form work & life". Major freak out!!!! "I just want to take you away & treat you like your ex never did".

I feel so bad, we had the whole conversation last week & I thought we'd clarified things... He really is a sweetheart & a nice guy but I don't need the complication. I can look after myself & I'm doing ok, I'm not getting attached but I can't control his feeling & I don't want to hurt anyone. It sucks been hurt! I think it might be time to end it... He's coming over tonight...

For god's sake he wants to fill a bed full of wild flowers & spend $1000's of dollars on me & I'm freaking out... it's to much. Man. I should be loving it, but I can't use someone like that, it's not fair on him...

Great News!!!!

I just got a call form the UK high commission. My Visa Application has been approved. How cool!!!! I was so worried about the whole "you have to be single thing" considering the divorce doesn't go thorough till next month but its all cool. YAY!!!!!!!!!

Only bummer is they can only forward date it by 3 months so it's valid from the 12th of May meaning that I miss out on 5 months of been able to be there - no big deal I'll still have 18months there :o)

Dentist Appointment!

I forgot all about it. I'm so not in the mood for it today! The appointment's at 5pm, a hour away, at least I didn't remember till now so that way I haven't dreaded it all day :o)

I'm grumpy (again). Management piss me off so much. I don't know why I let them get to me. It's the whole thing of "we want, we want, we want" & the "oh, we want that now". Who the fuck do they think they are?! (Logic doesn't prevail at this point in time btw). It's not like I've actually got nothing to do... Well I'm writing this so I do have a few moments every now & then but it's more the principle. I hate it how they expect me to jump when they say so & it just pisses me off! If it's asked for nicely it really doesn't bother me, I'll bend over backwards to get things done but when it's just expected that I drop everything, that's when it really gets to me.

Only three & a half weeks to go, thank god!!!

Self doubt...

I have this huge cloud of self doubt creeping over everything I'm doing at the moment & it's really starting to piss me off. The whole thing is though, I really don't know if I've made the right decisions... I spose what ever happens, happens so I just need to go with it...

I've just been advised that it's 28oC in our office at the moment, I spose that's better than been outside right now - perfect weather for the beach. No wonder I'm finding it so hard to concentrate. I thought it was just cause I've got so much going on in my head... It's probably a bit of both.

For the first time in ages my apartment looks like a bomb's hit it. I'm not really motivated about anything at the moment and cleaning is the last thing on my mind.

Most of my trip's sorted out now. Finally. Spanish school in Cucso, Peru has been booked. I hope I picked the right school... for the right length of time...

I need to start writing lists of everything that I need to do to sort out getting rid of my apartment & wrap up my life as I know it... Scary!

Haven't contacted the boy. Not sure if I'm just using the strange txt conversation we had on Monday as a excuse for not getting in contact with him... If I'd had the same conversation with anyone else I would have thought it was funny. I think that maybe I just really can't be bothered with all the hassle & this is a easy way for me to justify it... Not very nice, huh. Even though we had the "this is just a casual thing" conversation last week I still have issues there, for god's sake he's given me a nick name... Not 100% happy about that...

Yesterday...

... all my troubles seemed so far away - yeah, right!

 I went & had the first of my shots, Tetanus & Diphtheria in my left arm and Hep A & B in the right.

 My left arm still kills!

 Got a bargain in a book sale. The "Rough Guide" on Kenya only cost me $7 instead of the normal $30 :o)

 Brought my hiking boots. Hope like hell I made the right decision. Don't want to end up getting blisters not to mention wasting $330...

 Ummm, not that I want to admit to this but, I freaking well locked myself out of my apartment. I'm one of those paranoid people who always checks their handbag for their keys, yeah, the one time I don't... The locksmith cost me $121 - soooooooo angry with myself!!!!!

 Got some of those plastic storage boxes so I'm gonna start packing up my apartment.

And that's about all...

God I hate my PC!!!

I usually finish work at 5 but my PC is working at the same speed as my brain... I'll point out, today, that's not a good thing. So frustrated with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so hot!

 I swear the air conditioning doesn't work. Some day's I'm sitting here & I have to put my jacket on cause it's so bloody cold but today... no such luck. I spose I whinge when it's to cold too but at least you can put something on to keep warm...

 Just had a really strange txt conversation with the boy... very confusing... my brains not working too well at the moment so we'll just put it down to that.

 Tomorrow I'm taking off as a sick leave. I'm going to go & get my vaccinations done, must admit I'm not really looking forward to it...

 Think I'll buy my boots tomorrow too & start going through all my stuff...

 It hit me today (once again) that there's so much that I've got to do. Bec (HR coordinator) came down today & I had to sign a discharge form cause I handed in my resignation then I have had to fill in some other forms too.

 Payed for my tickets today... in the last 2 weeks I have spent just over $10,000. I'm not even stressed! It's all good :o)

I'm tired & don't feel like doing anything...

How unusual for me! Just waiting for some data to import so I don't feel like I'm slacking off to badly...

Yesterday I looked at so many pairs of hiking boots, sleeping bags & sports sandals it's not funny. I brought a pair of sandals that look quite cool so I spose the 4 hours I spent traipsing around the city wasn't completely wasted. I got 30% off too cause they were having a sale so that saved me $50. I tried on a couple of different packs too. The first one's still the best.

I watched 'Finding Niemo' last night. I got home about 5.30 & didn't think I'd feel like going to sleep straight so got out a dvd. I should have gone to sleep cause I'm finding it really hard to keep my eyes open at the moment.

Got a txt form the boy this morning saying he can't wait to see me again. It doesn't feel quite right seeing one guy, even if it is casually, then sleeping with someone else... What a tangled web I weave...

I probably shouldn't have drunk on Saturday night, the plan was to only have one because to start off with at the b'day party I didn't really know anyone & felt a bit uncomfortable, I got there over a hour late but everyone else was later! Then I started talking to Mr 30 & he got me another drink, assuring me that the antibiotics wouldn't make much difference... That sounds sleazy, he wasn't, he was a nice guy.

I’m a bit excited!

Last night I fulfilled one of my new year’s resolutions. To ‘get with’ someone over 30 (how shallow do I sound!). Anyway, I promised myself that this year was going to be different & that I was going to do a lot of things that I’ve never done & this just happened to be one of them. I always attract younger boys & I just wanted to test out the whole experience v’s youth thing. :o) I spose it’s not really fair been ageist about these things… everyone’s different. All the same it was pretty good :o) Maybe I’ve just turned into a nymph. The funny thing is, I wasn’t really in to sex when I was with my ex... It would be our 3 year wedding anniversary today & our 7 years of been together (we met on the 8th of Feb 1997). I didn’t even realise until I heard something about a bridal expo on the radio yesterday & it said the 8th of Feb. I think that’s pretty cool that it didn’t really affect me.

Anyway, I’ve only just gotten home & have just had a shower then decided I wanted to write stuff down. I’ve had all of 3 hours sleep but I’m not actually feeling it at the moment.

Hmmm, when is it you just become plain easy… or a slut… I haven’t slept with ‘that’ many guys. Honestly I don’t know why it is I even care. Obviously if it was that big a deal to me I wouldn’t do it but there’s always that whole thing of ‘nice girls don’t do that sort of thing’ in the back of your mind. I’m a nice girl, honest I am! And the other thing that nags you a bit is that the ‘boy won’t respect you’ blah, blah, blah…

Last night was great, it’s funny, the thing that reals me in most of the time is the conversation… Sure if I said looks had absolutely nothing to do with it I’d be lying, there’s got to be ‘something there. Last night was cool. It’s the first time I’ve had a guy tell me what he wanted to do to me in detail when we’re still fully clothed – what a turn on! See at that stage I still wasn’t decided if I was going to go there but it kinda convinced me :o) He was such a gentleman too. Before we went back to his place we were trying to get a cab on Oxford Street & there were heaps of drunks around & he was all protective & made sure no on walked into me… it was so nice, it felt good. You know what else was really cool, it was good not to be the one in control or the ‘older’ one that’s ‘supposed’ to have all the experience…

Anyway I could write heaps more but I think I’m going to go into the city to have a look & see if I can find some hiking boots that look cool & try on the pack that I think I might buy. Mum wanted me to go out to her place this morning but I feel like doing my own thing. I could sleep but that’d be the waste of a day.

Hmmmm

I just found out that one of the suppliers I talk to all the time goes surfing, we chat about stuff all the time, mainly not wanting to be at work & he seems pretty cool. It's interesting. By him telling me that he goes surfing it made him seem more real for some reason. I think it's kinda freaky that I could walk past this person 1000 times & I'd have no clue who he is....
------
 Oh & the boy's given me a nick name...
 A friend form Victoria arrived at lunch time. It was really good to catch up with him. He's so full of energy it just rubs off on you. He's talking about coming to South America with me. He's staying tonight, we alway's have fun.
 This weekend should be really good. Minimum plans! I've got a b'day celebration to attend tomorrow night but have the rest of it relatively free :)
 I'm tired but in a fantastic mood.
 Really looking forward to going to the pub after work - can't drink (antibiotics) but it's a nice little ritual.
 My nipples not quite so sore today - the boy was very gentle last night :o)

Noodles...!!??

One of the guys I work with has started calling me noodles. It sucks!

Getting 'it' with no strings :o)

Do girls usually say that sort of thing?

Firstly a big thankyou to Eve & Adam, well Eve put up with it all day yesterday & then Adam helped calm me down in my little afternoon panic attack. Yes, that's right, I'm a Drama Queen - who needs soap operas with me in their lives? :)

The thing was I was trying to figure out, was how to talk to the boy re: it just been a casual thing, with out looking like a complete reject.

We (the boy & I) were supposed to go out last night but due to the whole trains been shut down thing, traffic was appalling & he didn't get to my place till about 9pm. He was telling me how he'd seen one of his ex's & she was telling him about her new boyfriend etc & I blurted out "so are you cool with us just been a casual thing then" & he was like "yep", it was all rather painless. It's turns out it's what he thought all along. It makes me feel heaps better to know that he didn't think I was leading him on too.

We talked about it a little & I found it a bit hard to articulate to start with, but all in all, now it's out in the open & it's like a huge weight's been lifted off my shoulders. We assertained that neither of us feels used so it's all good. Now I just have to worry about myself now & not him too. He said that he wasn't actually seeing anyone else at the moment & I was like you know it's cool if you want to. Then we got in to a discussion on when it is that the rules change & how people presume things & how it's all really interesting...

Situation: I have a friend who's cool to hang out with that I just happen to sleep with :o) and both of us are happy with that.

Oh, Four times: three last night, once this morning :o) I'm a very tired but happy girl! I was only a little late for work, but the boss wasn't here so it doesn't count cause no one knows!

"I like to think that I’m honest & up-front with people, but aren’t quite sure if I follow through on this."

I wrote the above statement a little while ago. It refers to the boy that's currently in my life... I'm a wimp & feel like the biggest bitch!

The deal with the boy... He's a nice guy, we get on well, have great sex, great conversations & enjoy spending time together... Problem, I don't want a relationship or any type of commitment - I have issues god dam it!

He's 6 years younger than me & not someone I'm going to fall for. I'm shallow too, he's not the type of guy I'd usually go for. Anyway, my problem is I don't want to blow things out of proportion. How big headed do I sound, saying to him, don't fall for me. God, maybe he just enjoys the sex...

I don't want anything serious & would have told him this earlier bar one of the conversations we had, where he said that he always ends up getting used by women. I asked him if he thought I was using him & he said no. Like I said I've tried to be up front, we've discussed other peoples relationships a few times & I've pointed out that there's no way that I'm ready for another relationship (in no uncertain terms). I just haven't come out & said "in relation to you & me I don't want anything serious". Hell I'm going over sea's in a few months.

Things that have made me think that things have changed for him re: it been casual to something more?
 The time we spent together Sunday.
 He mentioned me meeting his mum, in a casual way, cause we were talking about her (that was when the alarm bells really started ringing).
 We've been in contact every day this week...
 Last night he asked if I wanted to do something tonight (as yet we haven't left my apartment & I've seen him 3 times.)

Things that scare me:
 He was sick & I was worried about him & asked how he went at the doctors.
 That it's nice to have a boy around & I'm getting a bit used to it.
 I don't want to hurt him, I genuinely like him, it sucks getting hurt.
 That I am actually a spineless wimp, not the strong, assertive person I always thought I was...

I've snapped out of my funky mood

.I have this theory that my mood is somewhat determined by the weather. Yesterday it was grey & bleak & I was in one foul mood, yet today the sun is shining & I'm a relativity happy girl, with some minor discomfort...

Granted, yesterday I found it so hard to get out of bed it wasn't funny & I was really worried cause my left nipple hurt like hell. I went to the doctor this morning cause I had to get some test results too & was just a tad worried I was going to be diagnosed with breast cancer.... Slight overreaction ;)

I thought it would be a good thing to get checked for STD a few weeks ago, she just about killed me when she read out the results though, she's like
"HIV..... hmmm '30 second gap' ... Clear."
"Herpes.... hmmm '30 second gap' ... Clear."
"Names of 3 or 4 other STD's I don't know.... hmmm '30 second gap' ... Clear."
It drove me just a little crazy! Not that I actually thought they'd be positive but let's face it condoms aren't 100% & don't stop all STD's. Plus considering I only had the one partner, ever, then in the last year I've had 5, I thought it would be the sensible thing to do.

With the nipple thing she's like "was your 'boyfriend' there 'orally'?" (I could have done the 'well he's not really my boyfriend & confused the poor lady because lets face it, if I don't get the whole situation how the hell is some poor medical professional). My simple response: "umm Yes". Her: "when?" me: "ummm, Sunday". Her: "tell him to leave it alone for a little while" me: "ummm, OK". Her: "could just be a infection so I'll give you some antibiotics" me: "ummm, OK".

Must admit I'm not the most comfortable person around doctor's when they're either a) doing some sort of smear 'down there', which I must add is the most unpleasant thing I've ever experienced & it never gets any better or b) pushing my boobs around, compeering & checking for lumps & things... but what can you do, it's gotta be done.

It frustrates the hell out of me when doctors are like "well it 'could' be: insert proper medical description of something awful" we'll just pump you full of drugs & see if that makes you any better. The antibiotics will kill off all the good bacteria in your system too, give you thrush & probably do more harm than good but we'll give it a go anyway, if it doesn't work we'll try something else - nice.

I'm tired & finding it hard to concentrate.

I think there's only 2 things that can be the cause of the way I'm feeling.

1. On Sunday night I had a smoked & got stoned & it's kinda fucked up my lungs a bit. Considering I don't usually smoke & that I've got Asthma it's probably not such a great idea... My breathing hasn't been the greatest so I haven't really slept that well. Or the other thing,

2. I started the whole desensitisation thing for some of my food allergies yesterday & that could be making me feel like this...

I hate feeling funky...

How hard is it to walk in slip-on shoes with massage oil on your feet!

I must admit that I would have looked like a bit of a spastic yesterday afternoon trying to keep my shoes on but the massage was well worth it! I've got to get back in to going every week. It's a shame though, I never get a sexy male :(

Speaking of sexy males they've changed the concierge at my building. Not fair I say. Here I am paying squillens in rent, I should at least have someone sexy to say good morning to when I walk out of the lobby in the morning!

I had such a lazy night last night. I couldn't be bothered doing anything. This is really bad: I used the last of my 'rice' milk up yesterday & I'm just about out of toilet paper but I couldn't be bothered popping downstairs to get anymore. That's right, all I have to do is catch the lift down 15 stories & walk less that 50m to the supermarket. For the first time in weeks I turned on the TV & let my mind focus on boring dribble.

So no breakfast for me cause I'm LAZY... lucky I stocked up on treats form the massage place. I've just had a gluten, dairy, sugar & wheat free bar. I don't think I've mentioned all my food allergies yet. Well there's lots of them... but hey, such is life.

Oh & I was a bit late for work this morning... considering I can see work form my balcony & it's a whole 4 minute walk, there's really no excuse except I didn't want to get out of bed! It's gonna be one of thoes days...

My belly button's peeling....

Sorry for the detail but I just looked at my belly button ring thing, it's actually a bent barbel with a cute aqua gem thing at the top & a silver ball in my belly button, anyway - it's actually not looking to happy... I've had it 4 weeks...

Around the jewellery it's a bit red, not red nasty just a bit pink, I'm hoping it's not infected! It's not sore or anything. Maybe it was cause of my Sunday afternoon, evening & Monday morning activities... :o) I think I'll need to be a little less rough on it for a while longer.

@ Dentist appointment - BOOKED!

Life's busy, but not a lot's happening.

@ Uk visa application has been given to travel agent - DONE.

@ Travel insurance has been paid for & I got a $312 discount - bonus!

@ Trying to decide if I go form Bolivia to Chile overland. Need to decide, I've got to pay for my ticket soon... Once I've paid I can't change destinations - just dates... Not sure if I should do the Amazon form Peru... I might be able to use the LaPaz (Bolivia) to Santiago (Chile) flight to get me to the Amazon & maybe train it back to the Spanish school in Cusco... need to figure it out.

@ Shit, I forgot I've actually got to book the Spanish school.

@ Wondering if I should be in the Uk for my birthday in October (I've got a few friends there) or if I should get there a couple of weeks after. Reason been, I'm not sure if a month will be enough to do Spain, France & Morocco... I could just do Morocco as a side trip when I'm working in the Uk... more thought on that one.

@ Need to make a appointment with the dentist

@ I've booked in for a massage at lunch time - CAN'T WAIT.

The weekend...

Picked up my new passport at lunch time! Now I've just got to fill in the uk visa application & drop it in after work & I think that's pretty much most of the stressful, time constraint stuff done.

Oh, Vaccinations! Ok, just on hold with the doctors office now....

This weekend was pretty good. Friday night, after spending a hour or so at the travel agents - my new favourite hang out ;) I ended up going down to the local for a few drinks with a few guys form work but I got really bored so left by about 8.30 & ended up getting a DVD - American Pie III.

... how bad is this, I'm on hold for at least 5 minutes & the receptionist comes back to me & is like "sorry, what was it you wanted?" How funny. Anyway she's going to call me back.

Back to Friday, I was in bed (asleep) before 11pm so that's not to bad but I woke up at like 7am Saturday morning & couldn't get back to sleep which sucks!!!! Ended up getting up & going out to my mums place. We've figured out we can fit all of my stuff at her place so that's going to save me $2k a year in storage costs which is fantastic!

After that I had to go to the fitting for my bridesmaid dress. How much does it rock been a girl, I so love getting dressed up! The dress is great, it's just a plain A-line floor length skirt (of course mine has to be taken up cause I'm so short!) with a strapless bodice, but we're getting really thin straps put on. The colour is 'sea'. My friend looks absolutely amazing in her wedding dress. She's going to be such a stunning bride!!! I'm really excited about the wedding now. I spent the rest of the afternoon / evening with the 'bride to be's' sister & we planned the Hen's night & Kitchen tea. I made the coolest hen's night invitations too.

Sunday was great. I didn't leave the house, sorry, that's a lie I had to go get a ruler & pencil so I could finish off the Kitchen tea invitations. Other than that I stayed home all day. The boy came over about 1ish & we just hung out & had fun. It's pretty cool to have someone to hang out with. Must admit though I was thinking more than I should have been about my ex.

Now that I'm going away, my family's like "are you sure you're not just running away form things?". I feel like a broken record. For god's sake if I was running away I would have done it a year ago when things turned to shit, not when I'm actually enjoying my life! When someone plants that little thought in my head, it gets me questioning myself & analysing things so my whole weekend was pretty much filled with these thoughts.

On Friday I sent out a huge group email to all my friends & I sent it to my ex too. I wasn't going to but thought 'what the hell'. He sent me the following back:

"I'm glad to hear that you will be travelling but please make sure you sign all the divorce papers before you leave as we need original signature and it cant be done via fax. I don't want this to be dragged out as I have plans for the future. Thanks & Take care"

Fair enough. Then on Saturday when I was talking to my friends fiancé he was saying that my ex is planning on having kids ASAP too. How can I explain this. I'm not jealous cause I don't want my ex - at all - but I'm a bit pissed that he really moved on so quickly, that doesn't quite explain it either though. There's still no way that I want to complicate my life by having a permeant fixture in it & I really don't know how he can even comprehend getting married again "as I have plans for the future" i.e. marriage, let alone having kids.... it's beyond me!

Anyway I responded back to his email saying the following:

"Yep, that's cool I was filling them in last night :o) It'd be good for me to get it sorted ASAP too. I don't leave the country till x April so hopefully it'll be done by then...? Do you know what the deal is with signing them? I don't know why but I had it in my head that I couldn't sign them until we'd been split a year?
If I get a chance over the weekend I try to sit down & read them...
Do you want me to send them to your mum & dad's?
Good luck with everything & hope you're enjoying your new house & life,
Take care,"

And I haven't heard anything more about it. I got a call form his brother over the weekend too. Him & his girlfriend want to catch up for dinner mid week. I also had a voice mail from his mum too. Sometimes I think it'd be nice not to have to deal with them but I've known them for 7 years so it's not like I can just shut them out...

God I blab on about nothing!! Better actually do some work.

I've done it!

I handed in my resignation this morning!!!

I'll finish up on the 5th of March. Wow, how exciting!!!!!!

I also paid $5k towards my trip on Friday afternoon so it's all happening. No turning back now... Oh & there's been a slight change in my itinerary too but it's all good.

I had a pretty good weekend although it was a tad busy. Will write more on that later.