I have never been so drunk in my life!!!

... And I'm still paying for it now.

But lets look on the bright side, I finally hooked up with Adam & even though I was incredibility drunk had great sex - well from what I can remember anyway :o) So much better than the dance teacher. We went back to the Student Residenance & ended up on sofa cushions with a couple of sleeping bags on the dining room floor! :o)

Last night is the first night where I've got a few black holes & don't remember parts of the night, it was the closest I've ever been to throwing up & I didn't like the feeling - at all! I'm lucky though, Liz & Annali spent half the night throwing up. The thing I don't get is we only had a bout 4 drinks each, I'm sure I've drunk more than that here before... We think maybe it was just cheap, bad alcohol... That & it was consumed with in 2 or 3 hours & we were playing drinking games at the pub...

Was hoping to see Adam tonight, it makes it hard when someone doesn't have a phone & they're only in a place for a limited time. I think he leaves on Friday too... Last night as I was getting in the taxi (oh & only god knows how I explained to the taxi driver where I live in Spanish!) I'm pretty sure he (Adam) asked if he'd see me again & I was like yep but was basically concentrating on trying to walk & get in to the taxi...

No more alcohol for the rest of the week me thinks. I don't know how I made it through class today, I just about feel asleep at one stage it was such a effort to keep my eyes open! I went home had lunch & promptly slept form 2.30pm till 5.20pm. Then called the girls who were like come over so I thought Id get out of the house & we've had a alcohol free night played cards & had a few laughs which has been good. They filled in a few of the blanks too :o) By the sounds of it I would have gotten home about 12 or 12.30 - I honestly have no clue. I pretty much took off my jeans & shoes & slept in my clothes.

Its hit me again now & I'm tired so I think its home to bed I go at just after 9 at night. I think I deserve a early one! :o)

P.s Hi Claudia!!!! miss u hun, will txt u my number - would love to talk to you!!!! I cant wait to hear about the honey moon & everything! xoxox

Cusco Tue 27 April 9.20pm

Its Sunday night...

Well last night was supposed to be huge but it wasn't, still had a great night though. There was a really big group of us which was good but everyone was feeling the effects of parting hard all week :o) It was my last Saturday night in Cusco... I actually cant wait to do the 2 day Inca trail next Saturday & start seeing more of South America

Last night one of the guys said that they were meeting up at the Irish pub at 7 tonight so I thought why not... I left it till 7.30 to show up cause people are always late but none of them were there... Which means I've come into town & I've got nothing to do except be harassed by little boys who want to sell me something. Ok gotten that off my chest now, will go back to the pub later to see if they're there...

Friday night was great, it wasn't supposed to be that big because we were going to Pisac on Saturday but it ended up been a bit of a late one. I met a really nice guy who happens to be form OZ. He's really cute has a amazing bod (not that I've gotten to see it yet) & I can have a conversation with him PLUS he's lived in London for the last 2 years, owns his own business, used to play league for Newcastle & has just brought a flat in Bronte... Now this is where I'm kicking myself, he wanted me to go back to his place, room or wherever it is he's staying & I was like no, I've got to get up early but definitely tomorrow night (meaning Saturday). So that's all good, I say good bye thinking I'm going to see him Saturday then last night he was no where to be seen. Our mutual friend said that he was sick, poor guy. Hence why I am been brave & came in to town by myself to see if they all showed up at the pub... Actually feel like a bit of a reject but hey, who cares, so many people are traveling by themselves its no big deal.

Part of it is that I cant be bothered staying round the house in my room by myself & I cant be bothered watching television. Had a great lunch with the family today, they are so nice but still there's a limit to the conversations you can have in broken Spanish & English...

I don't really have that much to write, suppose I'm a bit tired cause its been a pretty big week.... Fingers crossed for me tonight ;o)

Cusco Sun 25 April 8pm

Just a quick one!

Have 5 min & I really really have to update on last night!!!

I had the best time, it was fantastic! Ok the fantastic part was going to mama africas (the club form Saturday night) after having a few drinks at the Irish pub & the really cute bar tender been there :) but that's not the best part!!!!

At one stage he got up on the bar stools to dance & me been a little tipsy thought: hey, why don't I get up there & dance with him... We ended up dancing on the bar & been the floor show... Now the following may sound very bad but boy it was FUN!!!! Ok, up on the bar, first off comes his shirt, then my belt comes off, his pants come undone somehow... Boy has he got a good body! My top came up to just under my bra - always wanted to be able to show off my belly button ring :o) I was wearing 2 tank tops so one of them came off followed by some very sexy dancing. MAN IS HE HOT!!!! Then one of the other bar tenders thought it would be fun to spray us with water - I was soaked but was MAD! He's a fantastic kisser too, go the tongue ring. Don't know if he speaks much English, got one of the guys to give him my number or Ill probably see him Saturday night :o) Yum, yum, yum is all I can say!

Question - one of his friends told me he's only 21. Why do I always go for the young ones!?!

Cusco 22 April 1.30pm

Deny, deny, deny

Eve honey, you're such a genius!!! It worked, who would have known that I could lie. No one knows that I slept with him!!! Ok, ran into him yesterday & it was a bit funky but I was normal. I don't speak that much Spanish & he doesn't speak that much English - no problem!

Last night was a experience, get this I brought a huge bottle of vodka for $11.80soles - yep that's right like $4au!!!!! I've managed to meet some really cool people, the ones I was out with Saturday night - 2 girls form Canada & then a aussie guy turned up Monday. We all proceeded to get very drunk at the student residences last night, made the boys get dressed up in skirts & make up, did funky stuff with our hair & turned the music up & had a dance party. 2 boys & 3 girls. One of the girls suggested spin the bottle & its the first time I've see 2 boys kiss properly! It was so funny - in my defense all I can say is that we were very very very drunk.

Going out tonight, one of the girls kinda got with Dan on Saturday & wants to see if anything further happens... I want to pick up the bar tender from Friday night, so I suppose Ill have to wait & see what the night brings :)

Miss & love you all!!!! Eve you are going to have such a great birthday! I really wish I was there for it! Love ya!!! xoxox

Cusco 21 April 1.28pm

I am such a fucken idiot!

Ok, picture this. I get all dressed & made up for a night out on the town, probably the best I've looked in weeks. I then decide that I need to find a cute boy.

Ok nothing wrong with this senario so far... Right...

Well, after 3 of 4 drinks with the bar tenders been ever so generous, with there supposedly one nip of alcohol for the blonde Aussie girl (so they think) I get very drunk... Still ok cause usually I'm pretty much in control.

Ok, it gets till about 2am or 3am & the teacher that teaches salsa at the Spanish school I'm attending turns up. See this is where it gets bad cause on Thursday night when a group of us went to a club with the salsa teacher I had wondered what it would be like to sleep with someone that was such a good dancer... See alcohol + beforehand thinking... Not a good combination.

I went home with him.

Much to the disappointment of everyone else that I was out with (they left before me so I can still deny it, but I don't know if I'm a good enough lair) they all think he's a bit of a sleze which he probably is.

Two of the guys were outside as we left so I'm thinking that Ill just tell them that we went to a different club & that nothing more than they saw on the dance floor happened.... God I'm a idiot! I don't even really like him THAT much, don't get me wrong he's nice but doesn't speak much English... God I'm a spastic. I had this little voice in my head telling me no but I ignored it.

I've made a new record - he's 36. My god what the hell was I thinking...

See the whole thing is there was this cute American boy John that I spent a bit of time with too, he was a better kisser too but he disappeared.... Plus the bar tender was gorgeous & gave me a free drink. Man, I'm a idiot.... I really wanted the bar tender. I sound like such a... trying to think of the polite word for it but there isn't one, so it would be... Slut.

I miss Eve so much its not funny... I really don't know how I get myself into these situations & she always knows what to say to make me feel better. Thanks for your txt hun, made me feel better & ur right, I'm officially single so I should be able to have a bit of fun huh... Think I have to reel it in a bit though.

It sucks not having anyone to talk to about things like this, I miss all my friends so much. I've met a heap of people but its more just to hang out not anything deep... You know the saying "that you don't know what you're missing until its gone"? Well guys its really not just a stupid saying. Treasure your friends they really are like gold!

Cusco 18 April 7.15

My divorce came through!!!!

I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free, I´m free!! ;o)

It came through the other day & put me in a really good mood.

Cusco 17 april, 4.50pm

I'm a bit lonely...

No reason to really cause I'm surrounded by people & have made a few friends but none the less I'm very much by myself. On one hand this is what I've been craving for the last few months but on the other it'd be nice not to be alone... See, doesn't make sense.

I'm loving been here. The whole Spanish thing is hard & has brought up quite a few issues for me re: my self esteem... When I was younger it was discovered that I'm dyslexic... I've always felt like the stupid one in our family & never the brightest kid at school. I've overcome a lot of the problems that I had & have worked out ways to get around the problems that have I haven't been able to get rid of. When I signed up for the Spanish class I didn't even think that it'd be any harder for me than anyone else... Maybe I'm just making a big deal out of it. If thought about lodgically, I have trouble with English - yet here I am trying to learn Spanish :o)

Last week I felt pretty low but have snapped out of it now & are having a good time. If I happen to pick up a bit of Spanish great but I'm not going to give myself a hard time about it any more. I'm thinking of not spending as long in Bolivia & Chile by myself & going through to Argentina to catch up with a really good friend of mine sooner so I can spend more time with her.

The 2 people I've spent the most time with here are Gemma - originally Australian but living in Vancover, & Dan - whos form Israel. All 3 of us were supposed to catch up last night but Gemma didn't show so it was just Dan & I. It was a good night, he's a nice guy... Not sure what's going on there. I'm going bungy jumping with him next weekend & are thinking about doing Machu Puich (I cant spell!) with him Friday but then I think I´d like to go for the whole weekend.

Was a bit bummed, on Saturday did a hike to tipon (Inca ruins) & it just about killed me - I found it so hard to breath & had who knows how many puffs on my ventolin... So I think that means no Inca trail for me... I was really looking forward to it too... But then again if I cant do a small hike how the hell am I supposed to do a 4 day hike... Go figure.

Anyway must go to Salsa class... Have fun... & meet more people :o)

This is a little harder that I thought...

Had my first cry yesterday. Don't get me wrong I'm really enjoying my trip but it was all just a bit much. The Spanish school, the time difference, my sleeping patterns not to mention the altitude of cusco which just stuffs everything up.

I expected to go to the Spanish & for them to teach me Spanish in a non confronting way. I was just a tad wrong, the teacher doesn't speak any English & the other 2 students are more heaps more advanced than me which means that I understand very little & have to get the other students to translate which makes me feel like the dumbest person in the world. I just about cried in class too... The teacher spoke a sentence at me & wanted me to repeat it but I just couldn't remember the words, this was like 3 hours into my first day & my head was already swimming. My simple response was "no". Last night I put it down to first day etc but it was no better this morning so I'm going to take one on one lessons for 5 days. I really don't know how they expect you to understand if they don´t explain things to you in English... I was thinking about cutting the Spanishh school short but I do need to learn... I´ll see how the one on one goes...

Time for a real post!

Ok. The last week or so has been crazy, no idea why, hehehe. I lost my mind a little but are slowing gaining it back, apart form been sleep deprived that is - 3hours sleep in the last 27hours. Check my trip page for more info on that side of things :)

Things of note that happened this week:

Mr 30 decided to ingnor me.

The boy was keen as ever to catch up... As long as it is that I've been without (just over 3 weeks...?) I couldn't bring myself to call him. Its just not right leading someone on even though you've been painfully upfront with them...

After that strange txt message for Surfers boy I haven't heard from him either.

Oh I should add that it doesn't matter cause I'm not even in the same country as any of these boys... Spastic... I think I have this need for everyone to like me... Need to think about that a bit more.

I'm now at that stage where, I cant believe I'm saying this, its getting easier to go without sex. Sounds like I'm a bit of a nymph but I'm not, honest :) Its quite sad really, as I was checking in at the airport , I was thinking to myself, please sit me next to a cute boy... No such luck :( I'm sure Ill live. I really don't know how people become part of the mile high club. There are people awake all the time & it would be so obvious 2 people going in to the toilets wouldn't it...?

Only one & a half hours to go until my connecting flight to Lima. I wonder what the next few days will hold for me... I cried (well not full on cry, tears welled up in my eyes) as I walked through the passengers only departures area today. I didn't expect it but it kinda felt like I was leaving my life & everyone I care about behind, well I spose there's no "kinda" about it, its what I've actually done. I was scared shitless, I don't think I've ever felt so alone, as I was trying to hold it together I messaged Eve & she reminded me of something, that I'm completely free for the first time in years... I think that's pretty profound & pretty fucken scary!!! I've got nothing to hide behind anymore, this is me & this is all I am, am I actually going to be able to do this? Only time will tell...