Feeling funky...
I wrote this over a week ago but didn't realise that I saved it as a draft so it didn't post...
Wow, I didn't realise that it's been almost a month since I've posted here. We just came into Arusha to do some food shopping & I spotted a internet cafe :o) Heaps has happened since I last posted & I've been pretty good with writing in my diary but unfortunately none of its made it here. Most recent things that have been on my mind...
I'm feeling pretty alone, don't get me wrong the tours ok & I don't find it hard to get on with people & are still managing to have a bit of fun (& no mum, I'm really not drinking that much!). It's that it all just feels very superficial & none of the friendships feel like they go very deep.
My divorce was finalised on the 10th of this month, therefore I am officially a single woman or I should say a dirvorcie. I'm pretty sure that I'm quite alright with this. Even sent the ex a email the other day:
"Hey,
Just thought I'd write a quick email & say HAPPY
BIRTHDAY for tomorrow!! Hope you have a great day & get lots of cool pressies.
So I can now officially call you my ex husband instead of just the ex ;) Something I never thought that would happen but I spose things have a way of working out huh :)
Congrats on the new job too.
Take care,
Rach"
The thing that has hit me harder than I thought was the fact that their baby is due on the 18th Feb & he was saying that his parents are more excited than them. Which of course I knew they would be but man a) they're supposed to like me more & b) I spose I feel a little like I should be at a similar stage in my life. I know that this makes no sense what so ever & 'a' has nothing to do with his parents liking me or not but I can be irrational if I want.
For the last few weeks I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I need to get on with my life. Since I've been in Africa I've kinda felt like I've been in limbo, almost like I'm not a active participant in my own life if that makes sense. I don't decide what I'm going to see, what I'm going to eat or where I'm going to sleep. I know I should be enjoying the experience, which I am, but with the rest of my travels I'll do things a little differently. I'm already booked in for a tour of the middle east so I'll just go with it, I think it'll be quite a different type of trip than this one & I'm quite excited about it :)
Guys please keep in touch, it really does make a huge difference when I get your emails or txt messages. I really do like to hear about what's happening at home.
I think I'll be spending at least a day in Nairobi updating both pages & loading some photos, there's so much to catch up on!
Take care!
Arusha, Tanzania - Sunday 25 July 2004, 10.45am
Wow, I didn't realise that it's been almost a month since I've posted here. We just came into Arusha to do some food shopping & I spotted a internet cafe :o) Heaps has happened since I last posted & I've been pretty good with writing in my diary but unfortunately none of its made it here. Most recent things that have been on my mind...
I'm feeling pretty alone, don't get me wrong the tours ok & I don't find it hard to get on with people & are still managing to have a bit of fun (& no mum, I'm really not drinking that much!). It's that it all just feels very superficial & none of the friendships feel like they go very deep.
My divorce was finalised on the 10th of this month, therefore I am officially a single woman or I should say a dirvorcie. I'm pretty sure that I'm quite alright with this. Even sent the ex a email the other day:
"Hey,
Just thought I'd write a quick email & say HAPPY
BIRTHDAY for tomorrow!! Hope you have a great day & get lots of cool pressies.
So I can now officially call you my ex husband instead of just the ex ;) Something I never thought that would happen but I spose things have a way of working out huh :)
Congrats on the new job too.
Take care,
Rach"
The thing that has hit me harder than I thought was the fact that their baby is due on the 18th Feb & he was saying that his parents are more excited than them. Which of course I knew they would be but man a) they're supposed to like me more & b) I spose I feel a little like I should be at a similar stage in my life. I know that this makes no sense what so ever & 'a' has nothing to do with his parents liking me or not but I can be irrational if I want.
For the last few weeks I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I need to get on with my life. Since I've been in Africa I've kinda felt like I've been in limbo, almost like I'm not a active participant in my own life if that makes sense. I don't decide what I'm going to see, what I'm going to eat or where I'm going to sleep. I know I should be enjoying the experience, which I am, but with the rest of my travels I'll do things a little differently. I'm already booked in for a tour of the middle east so I'll just go with it, I think it'll be quite a different type of trip than this one & I'm quite excited about it :)
Guys please keep in touch, it really does make a huge difference when I get your emails or txt messages. I really do like to hear about what's happening at home.
I think I'll be spending at least a day in Nairobi updating both pages & loading some photos, there's so much to catch up on!
Take care!
Arusha, Tanzania - Sunday 25 July 2004, 10.45am
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