My World Trip, this is the plan so far anyway...

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Beginning of April:
Leave Sydney fly to Lima, Peru (via Santiago)

Then to:
Cusco, Peru for homestay & Spanish school
Where I’ll do the 4-day Inca trail & local rurins

End April - Mid May:
Overland from Peru to Bolivia via Lake Titicaca then Salt flats

Mid May:
LaPaz, Bolivia to Santiago, Chile

End May:
Santiago, Chile to Rio, Brazil

End May – End Jun:
Overland Brazil to Argentina. Maybe 2 Amazon. Iguazu Falls

End Jun:
Buenos Aires to Johannesburg.

Beginning July:
Tour overland form Johannesburg to Nairobi including:
South Africa, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Malawi, Tanzania & Kenya.

Nairobi to Cairo

Beginning Aug:
Tour over land from Cairo to Istanbul including:
Egypt, Jordan, Syria & Turkey

Mid Sep:
Istanbul to Madrid

Mid Sep – Mid Oct:
Overland Spain, Portugal, Morocco, Spain & France

Mid Oct:
Paris to London

I’m planning on spending anywhere from 6 to 12 or even 18 months working in the UK before I continue my travels.

Then the rest of Europe, Russia, Mongolia, China, Nepal & India but don’t have a set itinerary for this yet…

Relationship break-ups suck!

I was just going through this cupboard/buffet thing where I stash all my papers cleaning it out & looking for the court consent orders re financial settlement between my ex & I. I need the consent orders as part of my application for the 2-year working visa for the UK. Get this; one of the criteria for you to get the visa is that you have to be single… Legally I’m still married until the beginning of March. As long as I can prove that we’re in the process of getting divorced it ‘should’ be ok...

Anyway, I couldn’t find the court orders so I’ll have to get a copy from my lawyer, but I did come across a heap of e-mails between my ex & I from March – August last year. I can’t believe what a sop I am. I started reading some of them & got a bit upset – I didn’t cry or anything – just felt sad… About 9 days after we split, in an e-mail to my ex, I’m like “Have you thought anymore about what you want?” His response was “haven’t thought much about stuff… just going out with friends and having fun.” All I can say is typical!

Why do girls let guys get away with treating them like crap? Sorry that’s pretty generalised. Why did I let my ex treat me like crap & take me for granted? I’m a pretty strong, independent chick, I’ve got a brain, I don’t ‘need’ a man... I suppose for me it’s the whole ‘when you’re married you stick it out cause that’s what you’re suppose to do’ society’s expectations & all that. It took my life turning upside down before I said to my ex that I thought that we needed some time apart. Strange isn’t it when things turned to crap for me, I needed to put me first & couldn’t carry him any more…

Here’s the story: almost a year ago I was walking back to work after buying my lunch, I had my lunch in one hand & my money & phone in the other. I noticed a guy about 4 meters away form me on the other side of a very wide footpath. I looked down to check the time on my phone & the next thing I know, this guy (psycho!) has come running at me & shoulder barged into my right shoulder. It felt like I’d been hit by a freight train & it completely spun me round. I yelled at the top of my lungs, something to the effect “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!” & he ran off. I was pretty shook up & didn’t hold things together very well. It ended up stuffing up my shoulder & neck & I had to have physio for about 3 months after, along with only having to work 5 hours a day. Anyway, my ex & split 2 weeks after that. The assault completely stuffed me up for a bit, both mentally & physically. It was pretty much the straw that broke the Camels back. I don’t think he could handle me not been 100% & when I needed him the most he couldn’t pull through. I can still see him rolling his eyes when I told his brother about the assault. He thought I was over reacting...

It annoys me a bit that I’m still thinking about him & the relationship, but I spose it’s because last night I started filling out the divorce papers, then reading the e-mails tonight…

You know what’s really sad. I spend 6 years of my life with this person & now I find it hard to remember why I loved him or the good times… That’s not quite true, my wedding day was fantastic! But most of the time I was so stressed, that’s not his fault; I’m the only one who can determine how I act or how I feel. I was concentrating on paying off the mortgage, buying an investment property, getting a new car & providing a future & security for the family we were planning on having. As I wrote the last part of that sentence, the tears started. That scares me... In a way it kinda feels like I’ve been cheated… don’t know if that makes sense. I happy with the way that my life’s turned out but if you’d asked me a year ago what my hopes & dreams were they would have been completely different than they are now. None of those hopes or dreams will ever eventuate like I thought they would & that’s kinda sad. No. That’s really sad. I’m not sad because I want my ex back, because I don’t. If anything I feel sorry for him. He doesn’t know who he is. He’s gone through his life been spoilt & looked after by his parents, then by me, then within a month of us splitting, by his girlfriend. How can you figure out who you are if you’ve relied on other people you’re whole life?

I promised myself when we split that I would be happy & you know what, the majority of the time I am. It’s been ages since I’ve sat down & thought about all of this. Granted the lead up to Christmas & New Years was a little bit weird but it turned into the best one I’ve ever had!

Enough of me blabbing on. I should go get some food. No exercise tonight but I haven’t watched T.V in over a week, how cool is that! :o)

Done, but by god am I short!

I'm back at work after jumping on a train & making my way to the passport office in the city, it only took a hour all up. How much do I miss working in the city! So many cute men in suits walking around ;) I couldn't take the rest of the day off as sick leave, that whole feeling slack thing came into play, that & the guilt factor. Plus not only with my life been flat out, work's actually starting to get a tad busy & it's just going to flatten me if I don't get it under control.

Anyway, I pay a extra $110 & I can pick up my passport after 9am Monday morning. How cool is that! I'm feeling pretty good about it. With the whole application thing you have to fill in things like what colour your eyes are & how tall you are.... & all that sort of thing. Now I know I'm short - this is blatantly obvious - but 'how short' is a different story. I've always consoled myself with the thought that I'm about 5ft. This, it turns out, is not actually a fact. I measure in at 1.47cm which I believe to be JUST ON (or knowing my luck just under) 4ft 11in - in other words VERY, VERY SHORT! O'well what can ya do. I'm taller than my Nanna :)

Update on Africa: I've decided to the 5 week over land safari from Jo'burg to Nairobi, what's a extra $1000 in the scheme of things? & realistically I probably won't make it back there.

I faxed off my itinerary to the Dr's so I'll start to get jabbed pretty soon with all those vaccinations, I can't wait (not!).

Umm, don't think there's anything else that rates a mention at the moment. I'll play with my itinerary a little more then post the rough outline.

Oh & I'm wondering if I should txt the boy & say Hi... or if that'll give off the wrong message. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy hanging out with him too but I don't want him to get to attached or think I'm serious cause god knows my walls are up so high no one could scale them, I'm pretty sure I won't get attached... Famous last words I'm sure... I was thinking about it last night & it's just really, really nice to have someone that kinda likes you & calls you & pay's you that little bit of attention. I think that's what I miss the most... I might just put it in the to hard basket, I've got so much other stuff to worry about. I'll leave the ball in his court.

And last but not least I still haven't decided about handing in my resignation... to much other stuff going on....

I am such a idiot!!!

I started filling out my application last night for the 2 year working visa in the UK & went "oh yeah, I'll just grab my passport to fill in some of the details". Here's me thinking that my passport's valid till 2007 then I look at the expiry date & HELLO! it expires Oct 2005... Let's just say that's not a good thing. Considering I want to be gone for a few years & having a valid passport overseas is pretty essential! It's gonna cost me $220 to get a new passport in 3 days but I think it'll be worth it. Well, that & I've only got 9 weeks till I leave & it takes 8 weeks for the UK visa to be issued & then I'll also need visa's for Brazil & Kenya... Surprising thing is I'm not as stressed as I thought I would be. I had a bit of a hissy fit last night basically cause I could have looked at my passport 3 weeks ago & got it sorted. My mum even told me to check my passport & I'm like "mum, it's fine, don't worry". God what a spastic!!!! I'll beat myself up a bit more then I'll be fine :o)

BTW, quiet weekend has gone out completely out the window. Tonight organising the hens night / kitchen tea, tomorrow night catching up with a friend who's in Sydney, Saturday bridesmaid thingy & Sunday there's a travel expo on....

I did exercise last night!!! This is a very exciting thing. I did a full 20 min on the treadmill then went & soaked in the spa. I had a very relaxing evening & cleaned my apartment. I always feel so much better when my apartment's in order! Then I had a pretty early night, which could explain why I feel like I can take on the world again.

Ok going to get passport photo's done & take the rest of the day off as sick leave, believe it or not at the suggestion of my boss! God they love me, why? I don't know.

Stress...

I thought I was handling everything ok but let's face it I'm a tad stressed at the moment, always happens when I don't get enough sleep & then I end up making a bigger deal out of things than I should...

I've taken some homeopathic tablets that aid in stress relief so here's hoping they kick in soon :o) I think it's just the fact that there are so many things that need to be sorted out now & they can't really wait a couple of weeks.

Just got a email form my friend that's getting married & her sister wants to get together Friday night to sort out the hen's night & kitchen tea then we've got dress fittings on Saturday. So much for a weekend to myself, considering I really needed to get things finalised for the trip... The real problem is visa's & vaccinations, I can't get the vaccinations organised till I know where I'm going to be & when which means my travel needs to be finalised. I should have started getting some of the vaccinations a few weeks ago...

Last night I was talking to the boy on the phone & he's like so do you want to do something on the weekend & I'm like, no, I'm just going to have a quiet one at home - ha! So much for that.

The more I think about it the more I want to resign sooner. My boss(s) want a proper hand over so that means I'd have a couple more weeks on my own then Eve would be down here... hmmm, that could be good. I've just got to organise getting rid of my apartment & everything that goes with that too... could I handle living with mum before I leave is the real question though...

If I hand my resignation in on Friday the 30.01.03 that would put my last day at Friday 27.02.03 actually giving me 5 weeks before I leave... I'd stay in my apartment for 2 weeks after that sorting out all my crap which would take me to 13/14.03.04 then I was hoping to make it down to Melbourne for a few days so I'd be back in Sydney by 21.03.04. Then that would leave a week until the wedding which I can safely assume will keep me busy. After the wedding it's one week till I leave. To me it'd make sense to hand in my resignation on Friday.... We'll see.

Is there a off Switch??

I’ve got so much crap spinning round in my head at the moment. I so often wish that there was an off switch. It’s taken me years to come to the realisation that I think too much & over analyse things, but realising it & stopping it are 2 different things...

Things on my mind at the moment:
 Regardless of age, gender or culture, everyone has there own set of issues – I know it’s pretty obvious but this weekend it really got me thinking.
 How other people act & how I let this determine my behaviour.
 That it really annoys me that people have a preconceived notion of who I am.
 I like to think that I’m honest & up-front with people, but aren’t quite sure if I follow through on this.
 Finalising the itinerary for my world trip.
 Organising all the visa stuff.
 Organising vaccinations.
 Money
 Security
 Feeling like I’m letting people down at work at the moment cause I’m slacking off.
 That I enjoy opening myself up to new experiences.
 Coming to the realisation that I don’t have to be in control all the time.
 Regardless of how you see a situation unless a person’s ready to open their eyes they won’t get the same lesson out of it & there’s no point trying to explain how you see it unless they’re open to it.
 It’s almost been a year since my life was turned upside down.
 I’m glad my life was turned upside down.
 We’re all here for a reason & things happen when & how they’re supposed to.
 I actually really enjoy spending time on my own.
 It kinda sucks to have to carry the whole load on your own though.
 You can gain the most interesting insight's form other people’s behaviour about your own personality
 That maybe I talk a little to much & that I should learn to listen a little more
 There’s so much to do before I head off on my trip & I’ve got 9 weeks to sort it all out.
 I’m only 27 & my divorce will go thorugh in a couple of months...
 That I want to be young again but that I also want to be taken seriously as an adult, I have to find the middle ground.
 That I’ve been given a second chance to live my life the way I want to.
 I’m scared I’m going to stuff it up & make a wrong decision.
 It's a bit hard not to have someone else to rely on & share you life with sometimes.
 Do I actually want a relationship, is it just fear that’s holding me back (supposedly if the right person came along).
 That I’m actually a bit peeved that my ex got on with his life so quickly after we split & has now brought a house 3 months ago with the girl I ‘thought’ he was having an affair with.
 Is it ok for me to be peeved cause I’m over him & don’t want him back?
 I wouldn’t mind seeing him again to see how it feels. Just to test it out if I really am over him, no, let me rephrase that, I’d like to test out if I’m over the relationship & all the dreams & aspirations I had for us as a couple.
 I’ve got to pay the phone bill.
 I’ve got to pay my accountant
 I’m a bridesmaid for my friends wedding at the end of March, so I’ve got to go to fittings & organise her hens’ night & kitchen tea...
 I don’t think I’ve got enough time to do everything
 Maybe I’ll just resign from work a month before I leave to give myself enough time to do everything. That means I have to hand my resignation in NOWish...
 I need to organise my credit card reward points so I can get some vouchers for Grace Brothers to buy stuff for my trip.

There’s so much more going on in my head but I’ve got lots of stuff to do....

Africa

Can I just say that I’m a bit pissed off at the moment.

I’ve just been to the travel agents after work to try & sort out the remainder of my trip. It turns out that I can’t fly from Nairobi to Jo’burg as part of my world ticket so it’d cost me $1000 extra for the flight in order for me to do the overland 6-week safari that I wanted to do. Meaning it’d take my ticket cost up to about $5k.

Hell, I’m going to miss out on Victoria Falls. I originally didn’t think I’d be able to do it because of the world ticket restrictions but last time I went to the travel agent she said that I could.

Okay, I’m now I’ve gotten that out I’m not so annoyed. I suppose I’m going to get to see so much of the world it’s be good to leave something to go back & see... Oh well back to the drawing board on Africa.

South America’s sorted out so that’s the first 3 months sorted out… But then again (back to Africa) it’s only $1000. Maybe I should just go with it, a once in a life time opportunity & all that. I was adding up the money I will have spent before I leave the country & it’s already up to about $13,000au. Maybe $1000 won’t make that much difference... Hmmm need to think more about it, have to talk to some one who’s been to Africa. It could be good just going form Nairobi to Zanzibar (spelt wrong...) on a 21-day tour as opposed to the 6-week safari thing... Hmmm need to talk to someone who’s been...

Red bull is good!!

I thought I wasn't going to make it through this afternoon. All I can say is thank god for Eve & the can of red bull she had stashed in her draw :)

Part of me feels really bad cause I've basically done no work today, my mind just isn't working how it should be! I blame lack of sleep.

I spent the last 4 days in Byron Bay & caught the bus back last night. I got into Sydney at 7am this morning (a 13hr trip) which gave me just enough time to go home have a shower & turn up for work looking relatively normal. I did managed to get a few hours sleep on the bus but I think all the late nights are catching up on me...

I've basically lost all motivation for my job. It's so bad, 'usually' I'm a really on to it kind of person who prides herself in her work but it just ain't happening anymore. All I can think about is travelling & I'm just counting down the days till I hand in my resignation... No matter how much I beat myself up & try to get back in to the swing of things it just doesn't happen. I've even told my boss I'm slacking off, thinking that he'll give me some kind of warning that would get me motivated but he doesn't seem to care either. I'm pretty much just doing what needs to be done to get by & that's it... I used to hold such contempt for people that slacked off at work & now I'm one of them!

I posted on Adam's site today too.

This is it, my very first post!

I wrote the following a few weeks ago & never got round to posting it on a friends site, so thought I might as do it now :)

This has been my first week back at work after 7 weeks off... Needless to say I'm not the happiest person in the world at the moment & I'd much rather write about what I've been up to than actually be doing work!

I'll start with the "I really recommend that everyone should get out there & see Australia!" I spent 5 of my 7 weeks off work travelling & I had a blast! Not to mention saw fantastic sites & met amazing people, it kinda sounds like I'm writing for a travel mag....

I've 5 of these people (there was 6) crashing on my floor (well, 2 on the sofa bed, 1 on a mattress & 1 on couch cushions on the floor, plus 1 in my bed with me - it's a girl so don't go getting excited boys). The funny thing is my apartment is pretty small so when you get 6 backpacks in there too it fulls it up quite quickly. I'm loving it! It's like I'm still travelling & I really only hit reality when I got back to work Monday....

On to what I've been up to, Where did I go you ask? Well even if you didn't I'll bore you anyway. First stop was Byron Bay, I loved it!! Had a awesome night out at a place called cheeky monkeys - go the dancing on tables, surprisingly, considering the amount I'd had to drink I didn't fall off. I also learnt how to twirl a fire stick, not that I'm any good but, it rocks! Fire twirling on the beach at night is amazing.

I also happened to meet a cute boy there, that had a brain, so I don't know if that altered my perception of Byron... probably did, cause I pined after him till I met up with him in Melbourne 5 weeks later then I was like "he's nice, but god I blew it way out of proportion", I was kicking myself. No matter how logical I think I am, I'm still such a 'girl' when it comes to boys. Anyway ended up spending quite a bit of time with said boy in both Byron & Surfers.

After Surfers it was up to Rockhampton then to Fraser Island then the Whitsunday's then to Cairns. So many stories to tell but I'd be here for ever. I think it'll suffice to say that there was lots of drinking & parting - no boys though (yes, I'm still kicking myself for pining over the boy I met at Byron Bay...).

After the East Coast I flew over to Alice Springs, first thing I noticed was the heat. Did the usual tourist trail up to Darwin which included Ayres Rock, The Olgas, Kings Canyon (amazing), Tennant Creek, Dally Waters (famous outback pub), Katharine George, Kakadu National Park, Darwin then Litchfield National park.

After Darwin I flew to Adelaide then did the great ocean road on my way to Melbourne then flew back to Sydney.

I got home just before Christmas. I really wasn't looking forward to Christmas, it was the first one in 7 years that I was to spend without my ex & his family. It ended up having the best Christmas that I've had in years! I did the family thing Christmas Eve then spent Christmas day at Bondi Beach & a Rave with a whole heap of travellers I'd met, it wet off! I've never been to a rave before, I loved it! I think I danced for about 6 hours solid in my bikini & sarong, it was just a amazing vibe. I picked up a cute Irish guy which was fun too :)

Next on the agenda is a world trip which I'm trying to sort out at the moment. I want to leave the beginning of April so I'll see how that goes - Start in South America -> Africa (if practical, having a bit of trouble with this one) -> overland from Morocco to Spain to France to London -> Athens overland to all of Europe (well most of it) -> trans-siberian rail to Mongolia / China -> India & that's about as far as I've worked it out at the moment.