I have to laugh
The title of this page is "life is for living, if you're not having fun you're not doing it right". Well, I certainly haven't been doing it right!
The last 5 years haven't been fun... they've been freaking hard work & whist there have been moments of fun and enjoyment the majority has been the opposite, mainly resentment (at no one in particular) and feeling trapped. I certainly wasn't cut out for motherhood. Not to be confused for being a good mum cause, I'm a great mum and would do anything for my kids & love them to bits. There just seems to be no space for me in the equation and the whole 'motherhood / wife / domestic goddess thing does my head in.
Well, I think we finally figured out how to do it, life, the right way :) I feel the best I've felt in years, I have a sense of space and freedom I don't remember having had (it was just taken for granted before kids I think) & I feel happy. Something I've felt in passing over the last few years but it's different, right now I almost feel content.
Our family of 5 moved to South Korea for hubbys work 8 months ago & we decided that once we moved that we were going to hire a live in helper. My lack of contentment with my lot in life has been no secret.
We started the process in November when we met Abby and had her come for a 1 week trial whilst she was on a holiday visa here in Korea. She had to go back to the Phillipines so we could start the working visa process, it's now mid March, and Abby arrived a week ago.
I feel human again. We're working as a team. There is no pressure. If I need to do something, run an errand, drop Rich at school, take the kids to playgroup whatever it is that needs doing she picks up the slack, or vice versa. She's said to me "this isn't a hard job" & I've said to her "you don't realise how much easier you make my life". I thought I would feel guilty having a helper (I can't call her a maid or a nanny because that's not her role, she just 'helps') but I don't. She's now a part of our family and we all have our part to play.
Along with once again feeling human and starting to feel like myself again I feel very very lucky to have Abby & to have a husband that 'gets' it.
:) :) :) :) :) xox
The last 5 years haven't been fun... they've been freaking hard work & whist there have been moments of fun and enjoyment the majority has been the opposite, mainly resentment (at no one in particular) and feeling trapped. I certainly wasn't cut out for motherhood. Not to be confused for being a good mum cause, I'm a great mum and would do anything for my kids & love them to bits. There just seems to be no space for me in the equation and the whole 'motherhood / wife / domestic goddess thing does my head in.
Well, I think we finally figured out how to do it, life, the right way :) I feel the best I've felt in years, I have a sense of space and freedom I don't remember having had (it was just taken for granted before kids I think) & I feel happy. Something I've felt in passing over the last few years but it's different, right now I almost feel content.
Our family of 5 moved to South Korea for hubbys work 8 months ago & we decided that once we moved that we were going to hire a live in helper. My lack of contentment with my lot in life has been no secret.
We started the process in November when we met Abby and had her come for a 1 week trial whilst she was on a holiday visa here in Korea. She had to go back to the Phillipines so we could start the working visa process, it's now mid March, and Abby arrived a week ago.
I feel human again. We're working as a team. There is no pressure. If I need to do something, run an errand, drop Rich at school, take the kids to playgroup whatever it is that needs doing she picks up the slack, or vice versa. She's said to me "this isn't a hard job" & I've said to her "you don't realise how much easier you make my life". I thought I would feel guilty having a helper (I can't call her a maid or a nanny because that's not her role, she just 'helps') but I don't. She's now a part of our family and we all have our part to play.
Along with once again feeling human and starting to feel like myself again I feel very very lucky to have Abby & to have a husband that 'gets' it.
:) :) :) :) :) xox
