Happy Birthday Dad!

Not that he reads this site but I am thinking of him. I’m actually pretty slack, I haven’t even sent him a card this year… He called me on Saturday to say Hi too & I had to rush off cause I was on my way out. Pretty slack huh! Dad’s still in NZ & I spose I don’t really put that much effort in to that relationship anymore. I used to & he didn’t so I gave up. It got tho the stage where I felt like he just started to expect cool (read expensive) presents & money & stuff so that kinda took the fun out of the giving so I stopped. I spose I don’t really have that close a relationship with my dad. I feel sorry for my little brother though. He’s 18 & has really needed a male role model but doesn’t have one. I was 17 when my parents split & had already moved out of home so it didn’t have that much of an affect on me. He was only 9 so it’s had a pretty big impact on his life. My Dad moved on fairly quickly, within 3 months he was seeing someone else & remarried a few days after the divorce came through (2 years in NZ). My step-mother has been married about 4 times & has like 6 kids so my dad kinda forgot about my little brother a bit. Even when he lived with them my step-mothers family came first. I spose that I’m a bit angry with my dad for not backbone& letting himself been controlled by yet another woman, his mother, my mother, his new wife. My step mum is so like my mum used to be it’s not funny. It’s not really surprising that dads not really that happy. I was talking to dad a few weeks ago telling him about my trip & said I’d be in France & that it’d be cool if I could stay with my step sister & her family for a few nights. He tried to skip over the subject. I’m actually a bit pissed off about it. If your daughter was travelling the world “by herself” wouldn’t you want to pull any favours you could to make sure she’s safe & has someone to touch base with in a country where she doesn’t speak the language? Hell, anyone’s welcome on my sofa or floor & they don’t even have to be related. I just don’t get some people & he’s my dad… He the type of person that want’s everything for nothing. I don’t think that I’m angry about the fact of staying / not staying at my stepsisters, it’s that he couldn’t say to me that it wasn’t a good idea or that he’d find out… it was like we didn’t even have the conversation.

Anyway, enough of that.

I’m on the train heading out to mums place. Have to arrange her place so all my crap fits in. It’s no even 10am & I’m sweating my ass off & I’m only wearing a singlet top & ultra lite weight cargos. It’s supposedly going to be 30oC today. (Ed – it got up to 39oC). Just my luck that I’m bloody well heading out west! Oh well, such is life. My phone’s been surprisingly quite, no txt messages from the boys. Not that I expect any. The last one I got from the boy said to let him know next time I’m free, not gonna happen (ed: famous last words!). I’m tempted to get in contact with Mr30. Surfers boy – well I’ll see him when I go to Melbourne/VIC – maybe…. I can’t really be bothered with anyone at the moment though. I sound so bad!!! I don’t thing I’ve written about this yet but on Friday SA brought up G again. It’s so funny, he tries to do it all casual like, then when I ask him why he always brings him up he’s like “it’s just general conversation” – ummm, that’s CRAP. Anyway G supposedly brought me up the other day wanting to know if I’d left the country yet & if I was still in the same apartment. The SA asked if I was going to call G to say good bye. I said why would I? & that I’d deleted his number already (didn’t trust myself :o)). Then I asked SA what G had said about me. I must admit G had told him a hell of a lot! SA knew a lot of things he shouldn’t. One of the bad things – I don’t make enough noise… See, I already knew this. Man, the first time I had sex my in laws (‘to be’ - at that stage) were in the next room, of course I wasn’t going to be loud. So it’s something I’ve gotta work on… I think that was one of the only bad things, oh & to be more adventurous…

I’m going to be at mums in a few minutes so better go. Shit, she’s gonna see my tat, hope she doesn’t freak… I still love it btw!!! :o)