Time for a real post!
Ok. The last week or so has been crazy, no idea why, hehehe. I lost my mind a little but are slowing gaining it back, apart form been sleep deprived that is - 3hours sleep in the last 27hours. Check my trip page for more info on that side of things :)
Things of note that happened this week:
Mr 30 decided to ingnor me.
The boy was keen as ever to catch up... As long as it is that I've been without (just over 3 weeks...?) I couldn't bring myself to call him. Its just not right leading someone on even though you've been painfully upfront with them...
After that strange txt message for Surfers boy I haven't heard from him either.
Oh I should add that it doesn't matter cause I'm not even in the same country as any of these boys... Spastic... I think I have this need for everyone to like me... Need to think about that a bit more.
I'm now at that stage where, I cant believe I'm saying this, its getting easier to go without sex. Sounds like I'm a bit of a nymph but I'm not, honest :) Its quite sad really, as I was checking in at the airport , I was thinking to myself, please sit me next to a cute boy... No such luck :( I'm sure Ill live. I really don't know how people become part of the mile high club. There are people awake all the time & it would be so obvious 2 people going in to the toilets wouldn't it...?
Only one & a half hours to go until my connecting flight to Lima. I wonder what the next few days will hold for me... I cried (well not full on cry, tears welled up in my eyes) as I walked through the passengers only departures area today. I didn't expect it but it kinda felt like I was leaving my life & everyone I care about behind, well I spose there's no "kinda" about it, its what I've actually done. I was scared shitless, I don't think I've ever felt so alone, as I was trying to hold it together I messaged Eve & she reminded me of something, that I'm completely free for the first time in years... I think that's pretty profound & pretty fucken scary!!! I've got nothing to hide behind anymore, this is me & this is all I am, am I actually going to be able to do this? Only time will tell...
Things of note that happened this week:
Mr 30 decided to ingnor me.
The boy was keen as ever to catch up... As long as it is that I've been without (just over 3 weeks...?) I couldn't bring myself to call him. Its just not right leading someone on even though you've been painfully upfront with them...
After that strange txt message for Surfers boy I haven't heard from him either.
Oh I should add that it doesn't matter cause I'm not even in the same country as any of these boys... Spastic... I think I have this need for everyone to like me... Need to think about that a bit more.
I'm now at that stage where, I cant believe I'm saying this, its getting easier to go without sex. Sounds like I'm a bit of a nymph but I'm not, honest :) Its quite sad really, as I was checking in at the airport , I was thinking to myself, please sit me next to a cute boy... No such luck :( I'm sure Ill live. I really don't know how people become part of the mile high club. There are people awake all the time & it would be so obvious 2 people going in to the toilets wouldn't it...?
Only one & a half hours to go until my connecting flight to Lima. I wonder what the next few days will hold for me... I cried (well not full on cry, tears welled up in my eyes) as I walked through the passengers only departures area today. I didn't expect it but it kinda felt like I was leaving my life & everyone I care about behind, well I spose there's no "kinda" about it, its what I've actually done. I was scared shitless, I don't think I've ever felt so alone, as I was trying to hold it together I messaged Eve & she reminded me of something, that I'm completely free for the first time in years... I think that's pretty profound & pretty fucken scary!!! I've got nothing to hide behind anymore, this is me & this is all I am, am I actually going to be able to do this? Only time will tell...
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