Hmmm...
Funny, I always have trouble thinking of a new title when I post & usually do it after I've writen it. Today I'm finding it hard to decide between 2 though. 1) I miss writing!!!! & 2), slightly addicted to chocolate. The sad thing is neither of these titles in themselves are very interesting. If I choose # 1 it will set me off on a tangent which I do want to write about but # 2 will set me off on a much more interesting tangent. Confused? Welcome to my world :o)
Right – Slightly addicted to chocolate it is.
I have a theory on why I'm addicted to chocolate at the moment & I'm pretty sure its spot on. Because I’M NOT GETTING ENOUGH SEX! Sorry. Sorry. "Enough" would indicate that I'm getting some action but NO. NOTHING!!! It's been 3 weeks & I'm going to go insane soon, I swear. I'm sure that whole "women reach their sexual peak" thing, at what ever age it is, has kicked in with me & I'm not a happy bunny. I can't get Joel off my mind. I don't want to turn into one of those obsessed girls that are desperate & needy so don't get me wrong. I'm not going to be totally heart broken if he doesn't get in contact but let's just say he had a big impact & I want HIM. I'll give him till the weekend & if I don't hear form him I'll give up &, not wanting to sound trashy but…, I'll have to find someone else… I still haven't had anyone else to practice on with my new piercing :o) Might have to call Simon who I met in Istanbull before I met Joel. Simon's in London & has sent me a few txt messages already.
Enough of my moaning & back to chocolate. You know in the movies how you see people with a big tray of chocolates & they pick them up & have a bite of each one & put them back? Well for my b'day Silvia got me a tray of chocolates & I've always wanted to do that. So I did, I picked up each chocolate took a bite & put it back :o) It was great! So much fun, I loved it! With out getting all deep & meaningful, life's full of little pleasures isn't it.
Tonight I was lucky to get my night off & I only think I got it because I already had something planned. The boss had words with one of the cooks last night, who just happens to be only 17 & was expected to do a party of 20 last night by him self (I ended up spending the night in the kitchen…). Things continued this morning & the cook walked out. The other cook is on holidays so that left the boss's wife, Sylvia, who is usually in the kitchen but was bed ridden yesterday because she was sick, so really she wasn't fit to be in the kitchen today. I'm coming down with something so the thought of been there tonight didn't exactly appeal. Mo, one of the ladies I work with, has a daughter who runs a cub-scout group & she asked me if I'd do a bit of a talk for them… So of course me been me, I said I would. It actually went really well & I kinda enjoyed it. Which brings me back to chocolate, as does everything at the moment. They brought me a box of Roses… I have to use every ounce of will power to stop myself form eating them! I think I've already had about 5 or 6….
It's been quite a while since I've felt like writing & I must admit that I miss it (title #1, hehe, didn't think I'd have the energy to keep going). Writing everything down seems to get it out of my head & it makes it all make sense. Well that's not quite true, it just makes it seem ok that it doesn't make sense.
I can still remember sitting on the beach at Manly with Eve & Adam just before I was due to leave and Adam said something like 'you're going traveling to figure out who you are' & I was all like "No I'm not, I know who I am blah, blah, blah" to that I can say bull shit, I don't think you ever know who you are & people react differently in different situations etc but what I can say is that I'm searching. Not to figure out who I am but for what I want, or all new agey – what my purpose is. I've probably written about this till the cows come home but I think I'm getting closer. Tonight I managed to keep a group of at least 20 8-10 year olds interested for over 30minuites. I didn't think I'd be able to. Sorry got to get another chocolate… make that 2… couldn't choose between Golden Barrel, mmmm caramel, or strawberry dream… need I say more.
So yeah, I enjoyed it & I was good at it (no modesty here!). There are so many things I want to combine to come up with what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. They are as follow, in no particular order:
Massage, I want to learn properly.
Write, I enjoy it & it's great to get some of the clutter out of my head
Make a go of my own business & start up a hostel.
Work with people, give presentations, and impart knowledge… (That's presuming I have knowledge to impart hehehe).
Make invitations.
Plan functions & events.
I'm still at that point where I'm kinda like "stop the world I want to get off" but that's not quite right its more I want to get back to reality. But what's the point?! I could be at home & confused or I can be here & confused. The only difference is at home I'd have my nice furniture, clothes plus let's not forget shoes, around me, oh & probably a crappy job. Whereas here I'm seeing some of the world & still don't really have any responsibilities. I think I'm getting closer I just need to do the ground work & figure out how to make everything come together.
With this job I'm finding that I'm quite exhausted. Probably why I'm getting sick at the moment… I felt like crap at work today. The good thing about it though is that I haven't had to take any money out of my Australian account & I've save over 300pounds, over $700au. Not to bad considering I've spent quite a bit that I haven't really had to. That’s the good thing about staying here - I don't actually need to spend money. All I really do is work & while it's not the best thing or best pay, it's easy just to stay here.
I'm tired now so think I'll play with my 'stuff' template cause I'm bored of it, then go to sleep :o)
England, Tuesday 19th October 2004 10.35pm
Right – Slightly addicted to chocolate it is.
I have a theory on why I'm addicted to chocolate at the moment & I'm pretty sure its spot on. Because I’M NOT GETTING ENOUGH SEX! Sorry. Sorry. "Enough" would indicate that I'm getting some action but NO. NOTHING!!! It's been 3 weeks & I'm going to go insane soon, I swear. I'm sure that whole "women reach their sexual peak" thing, at what ever age it is, has kicked in with me & I'm not a happy bunny. I can't get Joel off my mind. I don't want to turn into one of those obsessed girls that are desperate & needy so don't get me wrong. I'm not going to be totally heart broken if he doesn't get in contact but let's just say he had a big impact & I want HIM. I'll give him till the weekend & if I don't hear form him I'll give up &, not wanting to sound trashy but…, I'll have to find someone else… I still haven't had anyone else to practice on with my new piercing :o) Might have to call Simon who I met in Istanbull before I met Joel. Simon's in London & has sent me a few txt messages already.
Enough of my moaning & back to chocolate. You know in the movies how you see people with a big tray of chocolates & they pick them up & have a bite of each one & put them back? Well for my b'day Silvia got me a tray of chocolates & I've always wanted to do that. So I did, I picked up each chocolate took a bite & put it back :o) It was great! So much fun, I loved it! With out getting all deep & meaningful, life's full of little pleasures isn't it.
Tonight I was lucky to get my night off & I only think I got it because I already had something planned. The boss had words with one of the cooks last night, who just happens to be only 17 & was expected to do a party of 20 last night by him self (I ended up spending the night in the kitchen…). Things continued this morning & the cook walked out. The other cook is on holidays so that left the boss's wife, Sylvia, who is usually in the kitchen but was bed ridden yesterday because she was sick, so really she wasn't fit to be in the kitchen today. I'm coming down with something so the thought of been there tonight didn't exactly appeal. Mo, one of the ladies I work with, has a daughter who runs a cub-scout group & she asked me if I'd do a bit of a talk for them… So of course me been me, I said I would. It actually went really well & I kinda enjoyed it. Which brings me back to chocolate, as does everything at the moment. They brought me a box of Roses… I have to use every ounce of will power to stop myself form eating them! I think I've already had about 5 or 6….
It's been quite a while since I've felt like writing & I must admit that I miss it (title #1, hehe, didn't think I'd have the energy to keep going). Writing everything down seems to get it out of my head & it makes it all make sense. Well that's not quite true, it just makes it seem ok that it doesn't make sense.
I can still remember sitting on the beach at Manly with Eve & Adam just before I was due to leave and Adam said something like 'you're going traveling to figure out who you are' & I was all like "No I'm not, I know who I am blah, blah, blah" to that I can say bull shit, I don't think you ever know who you are & people react differently in different situations etc but what I can say is that I'm searching. Not to figure out who I am but for what I want, or all new agey – what my purpose is. I've probably written about this till the cows come home but I think I'm getting closer. Tonight I managed to keep a group of at least 20 8-10 year olds interested for over 30minuites. I didn't think I'd be able to. Sorry got to get another chocolate… make that 2… couldn't choose between Golden Barrel, mmmm caramel, or strawberry dream… need I say more.
So yeah, I enjoyed it & I was good at it (no modesty here!). There are so many things I want to combine to come up with what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. They are as follow, in no particular order:
Massage, I want to learn properly.
Write, I enjoy it & it's great to get some of the clutter out of my head
Make a go of my own business & start up a hostel.
Work with people, give presentations, and impart knowledge… (That's presuming I have knowledge to impart hehehe).
Make invitations.
Plan functions & events.
I'm still at that point where I'm kinda like "stop the world I want to get off" but that's not quite right its more I want to get back to reality. But what's the point?! I could be at home & confused or I can be here & confused. The only difference is at home I'd have my nice furniture, clothes plus let's not forget shoes, around me, oh & probably a crappy job. Whereas here I'm seeing some of the world & still don't really have any responsibilities. I think I'm getting closer I just need to do the ground work & figure out how to make everything come together.
With this job I'm finding that I'm quite exhausted. Probably why I'm getting sick at the moment… I felt like crap at work today. The good thing about it though is that I haven't had to take any money out of my Australian account & I've save over 300pounds, over $700au. Not to bad considering I've spent quite a bit that I haven't really had to. That’s the good thing about staying here - I don't actually need to spend money. All I really do is work & while it's not the best thing or best pay, it's easy just to stay here.
I'm tired now so think I'll play with my 'stuff' template cause I'm bored of it, then go to sleep :o)
England, Tuesday 19th October 2004 10.35pm
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