Getting closer to middle age...
I know this sounds stupid but man, I'm 28. It just dawned on me the other day that I'm actually getting old...er. The people that I look at in their late 20's early 30's that come in to the bar trying to look young that don't really have a life... Could that be me! I've never really thought about it before.
I've been looking at guys, the young ones that is, 20, 21, then looking at guys more in my age bracket & thinking "the older ones". That's me! One of "the older one". Shit.
The people I was out with on Sunday are 7 - 12 ish years older than me & I should be quite capable of getting on with them, which I do but I spose I 'was' the one kicking leaves. It's just what you do when they fall on the ground in big piles whilst wearing high heels, k, & marveling at how pretty the bare trees were against the sky... I get along better with people I work with that are 10 - 11 years younger than me... Is this immaturity or as people get older do they forgot to enjoy life... I don't ever want to get old. Physically I don't care but I always want to stay young at heart & kick leaves & jump in puddles.
Well actually thinking about it the thing that started me with the whole age thing was cause N, the girl I work with, asked someone 10 years younger than me if he fancied me & he was like "of course not" & N was like "not at all?" & he was like "No". I don't care that he doesn't fancy me but the whole ego thing kicked in & I felt like going "why don't u fancy me - is it cause I'm OLD?!" Hahaha, I crack my self up! :D
Welcome to my world :D I spose I find it strange cause I don't usually think in the whole age type mind set. People are people regardless of age...
Still trying to figure out the best way to travel in Europe & it's going to be bloody expensive! Trying to decide when to go home - Feb for the massage course or April for god knows what... I've decided that I'd like to get back to reality. I've had enough of traveling by myself. Don't get me wrong, there's so much more of the world I want to see but I don't want to do it on my own, it's to hard & takes to much strength. I just don't have it in me at the moment. I think I'll just pull through with Scotland, England, Ireland & Europe before coming home... I hope so... Plus really, I've seen & experienced so much in the last 7 months, 19 countries I think 3 or 4 continents, sensory overload...?
Hmmm, what to do with one's life... Really if you think about it, does it really matter? Things have a way of working them selves out... I truly believe this so how can I spend so much of my time wondering about the 'what ifs'? I is one strange cookie.
Well, as per usual need sleep.
xoxox
Hanley, England, Tuesday 16th November 2004, 12.36am
I've been looking at guys, the young ones that is, 20, 21, then looking at guys more in my age bracket & thinking "the older ones". That's me! One of "the older one". Shit.
The people I was out with on Sunday are 7 - 12 ish years older than me & I should be quite capable of getting on with them, which I do but I spose I 'was' the one kicking leaves. It's just what you do when they fall on the ground in big piles whilst wearing high heels, k, & marveling at how pretty the bare trees were against the sky... I get along better with people I work with that are 10 - 11 years younger than me... Is this immaturity or as people get older do they forgot to enjoy life... I don't ever want to get old. Physically I don't care but I always want to stay young at heart & kick leaves & jump in puddles.
Well actually thinking about it the thing that started me with the whole age thing was cause N, the girl I work with, asked someone 10 years younger than me if he fancied me & he was like "of course not" & N was like "not at all?" & he was like "No". I don't care that he doesn't fancy me but the whole ego thing kicked in & I felt like going "why don't u fancy me - is it cause I'm OLD?!" Hahaha, I crack my self up! :D
Welcome to my world :D I spose I find it strange cause I don't usually think in the whole age type mind set. People are people regardless of age...
Still trying to figure out the best way to travel in Europe & it's going to be bloody expensive! Trying to decide when to go home - Feb for the massage course or April for god knows what... I've decided that I'd like to get back to reality. I've had enough of traveling by myself. Don't get me wrong, there's so much more of the world I want to see but I don't want to do it on my own, it's to hard & takes to much strength. I just don't have it in me at the moment. I think I'll just pull through with Scotland, England, Ireland & Europe before coming home... I hope so... Plus really, I've seen & experienced so much in the last 7 months, 19 countries I think 3 or 4 continents, sensory overload...?
Hmmm, what to do with one's life... Really if you think about it, does it really matter? Things have a way of working them selves out... I truly believe this so how can I spend so much of my time wondering about the 'what ifs'? I is one strange cookie.
Well, as per usual need sleep.
xoxox
Hanley, England, Tuesday 16th November 2004, 12.36am
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